Should Kids Have iPads?

I think so. There are a lot of educational applications (apps) you can download for children. 

Motor Mouth waiting for me while out 

Our kindergarten teachers use an iPad in their classroom. Later in the school year, the children will use the iPad for sending e-mails to their parents during the day (kindergarten has a letter writing curriculum component and emails are a modern version of letter writing). But at this point, they use the iPad for things likes practicing letter shapes by tracing the letters on the iPad's touch screen. 

See this drawing below here? Motor Mouth figured out how to draw on the iPad without anyone showing him how. Wait, let me rephrase this. We did not know you could draw on the iPad without downloading an app. Not only is the kid creative and talented, but he is resourceful as well.

Super Mario masterpiece.

Motor Mouth created this by drawing on the iPad with his finger.

Not convinced my 7-yr old did a good job drawing Mario? 

Here is my kid in his Super Mario costume.

Freaky Friday - Couch Potato

Do not adjust your screen.

Halloween Costumes 2010

Halloween is my new favorite holiday!!

We had such a wonderful time this year. It was an all-weekend event. 

Friday

Soul City Church Fallapalooza with inflatables, carnival games, lots of candy, concessions, great volunteers. Our children had a blast!! J and I know the pastors of Soul City and there were several friends we ran in to there, making it feel like home!

 Super Mario from the Mario Brothers video game

Witch.
J died Mini Me's hair black and did her makeup.

Mini Me the next morning... 

Saturday

Chicagoween at FrakenPlaza (Daley Plaza).

We caught several amazing shows!! The Midnight Circus had acts that I can't even describe in words. I was blown away and I don't really care for circus type acts so that is saying a LOT!!

Of course, our kids' favorite thing about FrankenPlaza was sliding down the Picasso sculpture. I'm sure that is not what Picasso had in mind... 

Sunday

Willow Creek Chicago had Willow Street for the kids to get candy. They had a couple inflatables. The real fun was driving through the city, seeing all the costumes then trick or treating in Evanston. It was the kids' first time trick or treating!! 

We ran to the beach and grabbed a couple fun pics!

 Beach Mario

Beach Witch

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Telescope

Ever since we moved into our downtown loft, I've wanted a telescope. What's the point in living so close to others if you can't peer into their homes.

Recently, I decided to verbalize my desire. I began researching what to look for in a telescope, price ranges, etc. They said that for peeping tom activities, a binocular is best. To get a good set of binoculars, you should spend no less than $100. For telescopes, you should not believe the 10,000x zoom as it is not the Hubble that you are purchasing. Any telescope worth having should be no less than $3-400.

One day, I happened to be in a CVS Pharmacy where I spotted a telescope for $19.99. Perfect!! A telescope for that cheap sounds perfect for viewing close up. No way you can see stars for that price!!

Motor Mouth was with me. He was appalled. "Mom, are you buying that telescope to look into people's homes?" Naturally, he wasn't whispering. "Mom, it is INAPPROPRIATE. Do not buy a telescope."

Do you think he will lighten up when he gets older? Live a little? Take a few risks?

This Kid Brightens My Day

Every time I see one of this kid's videos, it brightens my day. He cracks me up!!

Here is another of his videos. This is an earlier version - before he spruced up his style.

Truthful Tuesday - American Healthcare

I really hate the American healthcare system.

We may be switching medical providers very soon. As a result, we can't do basic, routine medical care for fear the new company deems it a 'pre-existing condition' and therefore do not have to cover care. And, of course, the company that we were with wouldn't have to pay a dime should we come to find out there may actually be something wrong with any of us. 

Simple things like a routine mammogram. 

I'm of that age where I need to have those slamming exams yearly. I have no expectation of there being a problem. However, if there is, and I go now, I'm screwed!! In Canada, this is not the case. And trust me, I would LOVE to move back to Canada. I would too, if it were not for my husband's career, Motor Mouth's school, and my love of Chicago (but Toronto and Chicago are a LOT alike).

Stage Parent

Motor Mouth has been asked to join the swim team. I've been taking him to swim class for two years because we wanted him to be safe in the water.  A few weeks ago, his new instructor approached me and said how well Motor Mouth is doing in swim class. Then he asked if Motor Mouth could join the swim team. If my child is being promoted, I'm not going to hold him back. We are going to take this swim team thing as far as we can this season.

My goal is to NOT be the stage parent. I am hard wired to be 'that' parent and I know it. To counteract that, I work very hard to be the opposite way. Signing my kids up for every activity under the sun is part of who I am. But I don't want to pass that on to them.

I don't want my kids to be over-committed because it is not healthy for them. I want them to enjoy school, enjoy their activities, and to enjoy life. With other things Motor Mouth has going, this makes 3 after school commitments. Family time is important. Simple things like eating dinner together, reading a bedtime story, and the kids getting 10-12 hours of sleep each night are more important to their growing bodies and developing minds than extra-curricular activities.

Other children will be counting on Motor Mouth as he will be on a relay team. We'll take this one swim season at a time. I'll make sure he gets to have play time in the pool before or after practice. We will be supportive parents and I will do my best not to be 'that' parent.

What I Really Want

This piece would look INCREDIBLE in our entry. 

It would go great with the brick wall of our loft that was once a factory. 

J found it on the net. I called Cleveland Art to find out how much. 

$1200 plus shipping.

Such an amazing piece and a lot less than J thought it would be. 

Considering I just want it so the kids can hang their coats and toss their gloves, scarves and hats in the winter and their flip flops in the summer, it seems...a bit much.

Happy 800th!!

This is my 800th blog post on WidneyWoman.

I've really enjoyed this blog. Through it, I've "met" and met some pretty incredible people. This blog has enabled me to document our children's lives as I never would have if it was left up to a pen and paper. Somehow, knowing people are reading it seems to make me want to come back.

One of my favorite aspects of blogging is being able to help people. The adoption info, the Chicago info, the crochet patterns, and most of all, the fun, madness, mistakes, and accomplishments of my family life that helps other people to feel normal or maybe not quite so alone. The emails I receive from people thanking me for living a transparent life really make my day.

This may be "Happy 800th, Widney Woman" but I sure don't feel that old!!

Self-Portrait

Motor Mouth did this self-portrait in K4.

Notice the hair? The kid has always had a strong sense of self.

After showing the K4 self-portrait to Motor Mouth, he asked: 

"Is my skin peach?" It was not. Seems he felt he could do better. 

Here is his 2nd grade self-portrait.

Widney Wednesday - Pumpkins!

It's been a looooooooong time since I've done a Widney Wednesday. While this does not meet up with my usual all out event night, it was a fun time.

J made a Jack-o-Lantern

While I gutted the pumpkins and roasted pumpkin seeds

Carving pumpkins and roasting pumpkin seeds is a very 'Canadian' thing to do. The word 'Canadian' here actually means 'white'. As in, white people do this kind of thing.

It was my first time gutting a pumpkin and roasting seeds.

I researched pumpkin seed recipes on the Internet.

You know what I learned?

Pretty much, do whatever the Hell you want with them:

Dry over night, don't dry them over night. 

Use olive oil, or butter, or vegetable oil, or canola oil. 

Add table salt, rock salt, sea salt.

Add the salt before you dry them, while you dry them, 

before you roast them, or while you roast them.

Fry 'em up in a pan or roast them in an oven.

Bake 'em for 45 min, 60 min, or more.

My husband and kids LOVED them!!

That's all that mattered to me.

Race to Nowhere - MUST See Documentary

I have viewed the documentary 'Race to Nowhere'. Now, I'm telling everyone I can think of because we HAVE to help our children. Parents and educators MUST SEE this documentary that talks about the dark side of America's achievement culture.

This remarkable new film shines a light on the price young people pay for this 'race to nowhere.' High-stakes testing has replaced meaningful teaching and learning. Cheating is commonplace. Stress-related illness, depression, and burnout are rampant. Many young people arrive to college and the workplace unprepared and uninspired. Become a part of the grassroots phenomenon that is feeding a groundswell for change.

Watching this movie made me happy our son attends the school he does and made me wish every school in America and Canada would put learning - not memorizing and not teaching to the test - at the front and center of their curriculum. School should be a place of learning, fun, and where creativity and expression run rampant. School should not be the source of stress and anxiety for elementary school children! And not a place where cheating and stress are the norm for high school children.

Attend a screening of 'Race to Nowhere' in your community. In Chicago, Daystar School has a screening on Tuesday, October 26 at 7:00 pm. Tickets are available for purchase online at: www.racetonowhere.com for $10 (plus $1.54 svc fee) or at the door $15. The documentary is rated PG-13 and is not suitable for young children. 

If your city does NOT have a screening of this film planned, talk to your child's principal or your religious group. Screening information is available at www.racetonowhere.com. This is a MUST SEE documentary that everyone should see if they are a parent or educator.

#10: Thermos - As in the Bottle

I was reading the Merriam Webster Dictionary online and found this interesting list: "Top 10 Names From Trademarks" and thought it would make a good blog series. Only the words that struck my interest made my blog.

#10: Thermos

What we now know as the thermos was invented in 1892 by British scientist Sir James Dewar, a scientist at Oxford University. A German company marketed Dewar's invention, and soon thermos became the generic term for any container with a vacuum between an inner and outer wall that helps its contents retain their initial temperature (rather than cool or warm to the ambient temperature). The American Thermos Bottle Company bought the trademark rights in the U.S., but never managed to stuff the language back into its bottle. After decades attempting to prohibit the generic use of thermos, the then-renamed American Thermos Products Company lost its trademark in court in 1962. So where did the word come from? A contest: the winning submission recalled the Greek thermē, meaning heat.

#6: Band-Aid - As in Ouch!!

I was reading the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and came across "Top 10 Words from Trademarks" and thus birthed this blog series. I'm only doing the words I find interesting.

#6: Band-aid

In the early 1920s, a woman named Josephine Dickson – who tended to injure herself in the kitchen – grew tired of trying to wrap her cuts with bulky, clumsy gauze. This inspired her husband, Earle, to invent what became a simpler, sleeker alternative: sterilized, pre-made adhesive bandages. Earle offered them to his employer, Johnson & Johnson – whose marketing triumphs included shipping free Band-aids to the Boy Scouts. Although the noun Band-aid is still protected under trademark (i.e., "Band-aid brand"), the adjective band-aid is generic. Since 1970, folks have been using such the term in such phrases as "a band-aid solution."

#3: Jungle Gym - As in Monkey Bars

I was reading Merriam-Webster Online when I found this article on the "Top 10 Words from Trademarks." This is officially a new blog series and no, I did not skip #2 by accident. I just wasn't interested in the word.

#3: Jungle Gym

In 1920, Chicago lawyer Sebastian Hinton trademarked the Junglegym (one word). He modeled his structure after one devised by his mathematician father, who had envisioned children learning about three-dimensional space by climbing to specific x, y, and z coordinates. Over the decades, the beloved structure has been updated, and the trademark status lost. However, newer designs still honor what the inventor called the "monkey instinct" of kids. The (two word) term jungle gym first appeared in 1923; the never-trademarked, closely-related term monkey bars traces to 1955.

#1: Heroin - As in the drug

I was looking at the Merriam-Webster online site and came across "Top 10 Words from Trademarks".  Fascinating. My favorite line is: "...which unfortunately caused large numbers of users to become heroin addicts."   

#1: Heroin

In 1898, the German pharmaceutical company Bayer began marketing heroin – whose name comes from the German word heroisch, meaning "powerful." The product was marketed as a cough remedy made from a supposedly non-addictive morphine derivative. It was also used as a cure for morphine addiction – which unfortunately caused large numbers of users to become heroin addicts. In part because of the growing population of "junkies" (a term that may derive from the fact that some supported their addictions by selling scrap metal), Bayer eventually ceased production and lost its trademark. In 1914, American officials began regulating opiates, including the generic, powdered version of heroin.

I Hate My Blog

I came over here to grab a photo for a work project and got sucked into reading my blog. Yes, I too read my blog. Sometimes, I read the entry titles and I am curious to learn what I actually wrote about. No, I'm not insane (well maybe a little - just enough to keep life interesting for me and for you) but keep in mind I have 5 blogs, 4 Twitter accounts, and Facebook. You can't possibly expect me to remember everything I write.

2 Years, 6 Months

We officially moved from Tulsa to Chicago 2 years and 6 months ago today. J and I were talking. We are still in a bit of shock and disbelief over living in Chicago. "We get to live in Chicago! How crazy is that?!"

Neighborhood Park

Layovers
Whenever we would have a layover in Chicago on our way to Canada, J wished we had enough time to drive past Harpo Studios and see Michigan Ave. Having worked at Sears Canada headquarters as a computer consultant, I had a natural interest in seeing the Sears Tower in person. Never panned out though.

Now we LIVE here! And were front row center at an Oprah Show, sitting on reserved seats that had our names on them!! Michigan Ave has become our kids' playground and I'm looking at the Sears Tower from our downtown Chicago loft as I type this.

Museums
J said, "Who knew when my parents took us to the Planetarium and the Field Museum that I would now be a member at both of those places?!"

Chicken in the Car
When I was a kid, my dad used to say, "Chicken in the car, the car can't go, that's how you spell 'Chi-ca-go'".  He had another one for France and another city.  Cute little ways on how to remember to spell certain cities. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever live in Chi-ca-go!!

Two and half years into our love affair with Chicago, all 4 of us are more in love with Chicago today than we were back then.

Shangri-La-Di-Da

When I went to Canada last weekend, the kids wanted to go their uncle's home. He wasn't there. But this was:

The drive to Shangri-La-Di-Da

Side yard

 Back 40

 The pool

View from the deck 

View from the pool's rock waterfall

Stairs of Death

In Ontario, when I went to school, if you were going to university, you had to take 5 years of high school. You graduated in grade 12 and went on for 1 more year in grade 13. 

I did well in sports and enjoyed health class so I took PE/Health for 4 years. It was only required for 1-2 years. I wanted to take PE/Health in grade 13 but just 1 thing stopped me.

These stairs.

(guys I went to school with at the school's 50th anniversary last night)

From the time I started high school, I knew these stairs loomed in my future. I had no qualms running around the entire school, going up and down other stair cases, running for 90 minutes straight.  I just couldn't do THESE stairs. So I didn't take PE that year. For real.

You see why, right? Those are steeeep stairs!!!

Heartbroken

I gave my client 2 weeks notice this week. I am so heartbroken.

For two years, when I go to my client's home to work in his home office with him, it is a bright spot in my day and week. So many times, I have gone over there tired, stressed, sad, broken. But when I leave, it's like a healing balm has been placed on my spirit. I walk out with a spring in my step and I'm really happy. It's not that my client says anything special. He is just one of the most interesting, intriguing, and unique individuals I've ever met.

My client's values are no where near those of mine. His lifestyle is like no one else I've met - that has admitted it! So many people I know would not have worked for him. But I learned so much and was exposed to a completely different way of thinking than ever before. If you are surrounded with people who all hold similar beliefs and values and live similar lifestyles, you don't get to find out what others think. You cease to be challenged in your belief systems and can become stagnant, close-minded, and stuck in your ways.

Since moving to Chicago, I've once again become exposed to people of different faiths, orientation, lifestyle, political views, etc. It's refreshing and feels like home again. I'm sad that someone with such a different voice will no longer be in my life on an almost daily basis.

All that, and let me tell you, my client is one of the nicest, kindest, most gentle and brilliant men ever. I'm really, really sad that my life is just too crazy busy to provide the level of service he deserves. Now that I give it more thought, of everyone I've met in Chicago, I've spent more time with my client than with any of my friends outside of my family and a handful of people from work.

I love my life. But I hate it too. I hate that I have to choose and this is what has to go.

Cream of Wheat

I'm so excited!!!!

J is an artist. One of his ancestors was too.

Needless to say, it made sense to gave him a copy of this 

artwork created by Gustavus C. Widney.

Knowing Me Knowing You - October 2010

Here is my favorite interview project once again...


1. Started your Christmas shopping yet?
No. But I ordered this thing for my J that I'm pretty excited about! Can hardly wait for it to arrive!! I hope he likes it. I should wait until Christmas to give it to him but I can't. Maybe that is why I don't buy Christmas gifts so early. I want to give them to the recipient sooner!!


2. Fall is here, what's your favourite cold weather comfort food?
Chili. Ron's Chili but I'm not aware of a Ron's Chili outside of Oklahoma.

3. Are you watching any new shows?
Yes. TMZ.

4. Have you read Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet? 
I just finished my first novel all year. Don't push it.

5. Is the top of your desk cluttered or clear?
Our home is a staging area right now until we get some custom furniture in and paint a few walls, and get rid of other furniture. So, yes, cluttered.


Now, head on over to The Fairy Blogmother to play along.

Open Adoption Myths Debunked

There is a lot of fear and confusion surrounding open adoption. Following are some common misconceptions:

Co-Parenting
Some think it is co-parenting. It is not. The adoptive couple are the parents. The birth parents have a special relationship with the child, often similar to that of a favorite aunt or uncle. The birth parents are not referred to as 'mom' or 'dad'. Typically, the child refers to them by their first name, or a cute nickname.

Return in Future
Some think open adoption is similar to foster care without involving social services. That the child will be parented by the adoptive couple until the birth parents can get on their feet and then return the child. Nope!!! Open adoption is a legal adoption that goes through the courts and terminates all rights to parenting by the birth parents while granting full legal parental rights to the adoptive couple. There is no going back. The open part is a promise to the birth parents that is not legally binding. However, if you, as an adoptive couple, promise a young girl that you will retain a relationship with her and allow her access to spend time with your adoptive child (the child she gave to you in good faith and with much heartbreak), and you go back on your word, may God smite you where you stand. Or sit. Or sleep.

Death Return
Some think that should the adoptive parents die before the child turns 18 years of age, he or she will be returned to the birth parents. Truly, someone asked me this. The child would go to whomever the adoptive parents designate in a will or if no will, according to state laws. Nowhere in the state law equation does the birth parent factor in.

Baby Snatching
Some think that if the birth parents know where the adoptive parents live, they will come take the baby. Well, if they did that, they would go to jail. Like any kidnapper would. Birth moms do not give away their babies. Birth moms choose a family for the child they love more than themselves. The child they love so much they are willing to sacrifice their desire to parent so their child can have opportunities they cannot provide at the time. A birth mom is not looking to rip a child away from the loving home she chose for him/her.

Discount
Some think open adoption is cheaper than closed adoption. Not sure why this would be the case, but it is not. Adoption fees pay for the services provided such as attorney fees, medical and housing expenses, counseling, etc. Some agencies offer a discounted rate for non-white babies. I find this deplorable. Run far from such a place. Every child and every life is of equal value.

Time Consuming
This was my biggest concern - I don't talk to my mom or my sister every day or even every week. How am I supposed to care for a baby and spend all this time with a birth mother????  When you fall in love with your birth mom, you want to spend time with her. We had a great counselor who helped us to discuss each other's expectations. Knowing what the other wants and can handle then meeting somewhere in the middle is key. I will say that typically, there is more attention given to the birth mom in the beginning. As time goes on, you tend to settle into a relationship and frequency that works for you both.

It's Just Not Healthy
Some think that it is better for the birth parents and the adopted children to never have contact. This cannot be farther than the truth. This is an old fashioned, old school way of thinking. It is harmful to everyone in the adoption triad.  No contact is only good for an insecure, needy adoptive parent who wants to pretend their child was not adopted. In 2004, I read a national survey in an adoption magazine that showed over 90% of adopted children either have, had, sought, or desire a relationship or knowledge of their birth parent(s)/family and/or family history. Over 90%.

Studies have proven that children who have or have had relationships with their birth parent(s) have a lower incidence of feelings of abandonment. That means it is healthier for your child. What is healthier for your child, is healthier for you.

Speaking of healthier, having direct access to birth family means a more complete medical history and family in case a kidney, bone marrow, etc. are needed. Our adoption agency has a 15+ page medical history document. However, our son's birth mother was 16 when she gave birth. Her parents were not in the picture. What 16 year old knows their family's complete medical history?? Having access later to ask questions is incredible.

Proximity Changes Minds
Some think that if the birth mother sees the baby often, she will decide to take the child back. Seeing the child often has the opposite affect. Yes, the birth mom's heart will break every time she leaves the child at first. But seeing her child in a caring, loving environment helps to reinforce that she made the right decision. Seeing how much joy her selfless decision gives to a couple helps to reassure her she made the right decision.

I will tell you that when our birth mom went to court to terminate her parental rights, the judge caused a delay by ordering an attorney to represent the her as she was a ward of the state. I started to freak out. What if she changes her mind?? Each time I felt that way, I called her and we chatted casually. Each time, I was reassured of her commitment to her decision. What if I didn't have contact? I would have gone insane for those additional 2 weeks. Insane!!

Conclusion
So, there you have it. Some of the most common misconceptions of open adoption. I wasn't sure about it myself. The book "Children of Open Adoption" by Silber and Dorner was extremely informative and helped me to understand the benefits of open adoption for my child and therefore for us. I recommend you read it for yourself. Amazon.com often has gently used copies available at a great, reduced rate.

Ripped from the Headlines: Roommate Rage!

So there are these 2 old guys recovering from hip replacements. The 81 year old goes postal on the 91 year old. Beats him with a closet rod. The 91 year old dies from blunt force trauma. 

Why did the 81 year old lose it? Seems the 91 year old was singing in Vietnamese. 

The 81 year old is being held on $1 million bail. He faces life in prison. 

This mug shot had to be taken while the 81 year old was in a wheelchair. Notice the hole in the wall? I guess most mug shots taken at this police station are of a standing perp...

Ripped from the Headlines: Burn Baby, Burn!

A man's house burned to the ground and his cats and dogs died because he did not pay a $75 annual fee to the fire department.

The man's home is located outside the county line. For about the last decade, the fire department in the neighboring county offered fire service for an annual $75 fee. This homeowner did not pay the fee. When he called 9-1-1, the operator said his location did not appear on their list and therefore the fire department could not go to the scene of his house fire. The man offered to pay the fee in cash when the fire department arrived. This is against policy because if that were the case, only those homeowners whose homes were on fire would ever pay the fee.

The fire department did arrive on the scene when the man's neighbor called as the fire had leapt across the property line. The fire men only contained the fire on the neighbor's property as they had paid the $75 fee.

Gosh, that sounds really harsh and unfair. But I get it. It costs money to put out a fire. More money than any of us realize. We are always shocked when we hear the fire department wants to charge someone for starting a brush fire that costs millions to get under control. By having everyone pay into a fund, the fire department can, I don't know, get new brakes on their truck, pay the fire men, get new fire suits every few years so the fire men don't burn because you threw a lit cigarette on dry grass in August?

I do empathize with the homeowner who lost so much. But I think it is a good lesson to all of us that there are fees for a reason. It's not just a money grabbing scheme. There could be a valid reason for charging what we feel is a foolish charge.

I Am Gay

This morning, I was inspired by my friend, Outnumbered, to be real and tell the world that I am gay*.

*Gay: Having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.

Indeed, I am gay. Not in the jumping in the air, clicking your heels and practically stabbing yourself with an umbrella kind of gay. But the life is good and I know it kind of gay. My life is pretty great. If you are happy and you know it, stomp your feet!!

Recently, my son made my year when he told me he enjoys spending time talking to me. Yes, he is 7 and he changed his tune 2 hours later when he didn't get ice cream for dessert, but he said it again a couple days later and I think deep down inside he really means it.

It's amazing how taxing crying can be on an entire family. After 4 years of incessant crying, our daughter has been doing much better lately. It's been a long time since she cried simply because it was windy outside. We have been working really hard to teach her techniques to self-regulate and it seems to be working as well as can be expected for a 4-year old.

My job is busy, all-consuming, yet fulfilling. I have a great group of co-workers and enjoy going to work each day. It feels like I make a difference.

We are in the middle of a redecorating project at home. Our loft looks like a used furniture store or an episode of hoarders right now. But there is a vision. A plan. And an end in sight as soon as our custom furniture arrives!! Our new loft look will finally match our city lives. It feels like we will be more authentic to who we really are. Or who J is considering he is making all of the decorating decisions.

There is some change coming down the pike. I'm excited and anxious for it. It will make life better and more challenging at the same time. But it promises to be a good change for our family.

Is life perfect? No. No one's life is perfect in every area. Grandma Barbara isn't here anymore and that makes life feel really empty sometimes. I have yet to conquer the mountain of laundry that is my nemesis. Single digit clothing sizes seem more distant as each day passes. And while we live in a really cool loft, it is not Trump Tower which means we have yet to become independently wealthy.

I have a great life that I enjoy living most days. And, I'm grateful to Outnumbered for reminding me that every now and then, we need to take account of all the good we have going on and recognize that we are blissfully happy and our grass is pretty green right now.

Knowing Me Knowing You - September

My good friend, The Fairy Blogmother, has been busy and sick this month so I think she forgot to do   her monthly question and answer series. I went over to a few places on the net and grabbed these random questions. It's almost the end of September so I HAVE to get these posted.


Have you ever thought about converting your religion?
Nope. None of the others make sense to me. I like some things in other religions but I'm not 'religious' so I don't do a lot of rituals. I live life and have relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 

Who do you most look like in your family?
I don't look like anyone. There are 4 of us and we look nothing alike. Different body shapes, face shapes, hair, eye, skin color. Different eyes, nose, cheeks, hands, feet. Nothing alike. We could all be adopted.

Have your parents ever smoked pot?
What?? No. Really, no. Haha. The thought of it makes me laugh hysterically.

Want someone back in your life?
Nope. My life is pretty great right now. I rather like it this way.

What do you order at the bar?
If I'm sitting AT the bar, I ask the bartender to make me something of their choosing. It usually works out to be amazing!!

Ever licked someone’s cheek?
I lick my kids' cheeks. Usually it is after I have pinned them down and been wrestling for awhile. I learned this move from my brother who has 5 children.

If you could go back in time, how far back would you go?
I would go back to the last time I was supposed to go shopping with my grandparents. I changed my mind at the last minute before getting out of the car. I wish I had those hours back to spend with them. My grandfather passed away quickly a few months later. He was my favorite person in the world. 

Seat of Our Pants!!

We are redecorating. 

In the fine J & S Widney tradition, it is by the seat of our pants!!

It all started when J found this console table on craigslist.

The next thing I know, we are selling our living room and dining room furniture. Lamps, tables, entertainment center, TV, couches, the works!!

I met interesting people. Like the man who took pictures of our dining table and chairs for his girlfriend who lives out-of-state and will be moving to Chicago before they leave to work on a boat for a year. And the really sweet hispanic guy who loves our glass tables with corinthian column bases. 

But not as interesting as the woman that looks like a stripper who was moving to California the next day and gave J a great deal on a leather chair. Or the pregnant woman who was going to leave J alone in her home while she went next door to borrow tools from her neighbor. Or the woman that met J in a bathrobe when he went to pick up this wing back chair.

The other day, we walked in to a warehouse and down the stairs to the basement. A buzzer rings and around the corner is this older guy riding a fork lift in a sparse, dusty brick space. We follow him into a room that has furniture stacked wall-to-wall and almost to the ceiling. 

We walked out of there with 4 dining chairs (all different by choice) and we proceeded to stuff them in our COROLLA!! Haha!!  We got 1 in the trunk and 3 in the back seat with the window open and the back of the chair was sticking out a foot. 

We bought a few new items.

Again, they went in our sexy little COROLLA!

On the highway....

Gotta sell a few more items, paint some walls, and then I will show you the final result. 

Things I see... Day 7

Things I see... Day 6

Things I See... Day 5

Things I See... Day 4

Things I See... Day 3

Things I See... Day 2

Things I See... Day 1

No one cares about your church

Please head over to my good friend, Tim Schraeder's blog. 

Tim did a great job on this topic. 

Loved it!! Enjoy!

iPad vs Kindle

Last Tuesday morning, I thought, "I'd really like an electronic reader, like a Kindle, so I can read my books without bulking up my purse." Out of 'if you think it, it will come' thinking, my husband brought home a Kindle for me.

I've used an iPad and now I've used a Kindle. Which do I prefer?

Well, in my pre-iPhone and iPad days, the Kindle would have been wonderful. I wouldn't have expected to touch the screen and make the pages turn or to be able to touch a book title to have its details magically appear. The Kindle would have been great. And I guess, if I use a Blackberry, the Kindle would be great too.

My dear bloggy friend Lit and Laundry loves her Kindle. It's not that there is anything wrong with the Kindle, but I've experienced the iLife and Kindle feels like I'm going back in time. I find myself getting really frustrated and want to smash the thing. I should give it away.

But the books on Amazon that I can buy are cheaper than on iTunes. I do like that. And I do like the fact that the Kindle is MINE. That means I can use it when I want to and not when my kids let me after they play games on the iPad or when J is done doing what he does on there. iLife is fine but myKindle is, well, mine.

So, there you have it. My opinion of the Kindle. Please be sure to read my disclaimer at the bottom of my site (scroll allllllllll the way down).

It's Gotta Be About More

I love money. I need money. I want money. I can spend money easy.

There are things I wold be willing to do for the right amount of money. Like live in the Toronto area again. But there are things I would not do for money. No amount of money would entice me back to living in Oklahoma, for example.

Several opportunities to work at amazing places have come up in the last couple of months. I'm not looking. Things usually fall in your lap when you are not looking. I was told I could make a bunch of money at one place in particular. And I'm sure I could. But it's gotta be about more than money.

Right now, I'm doing marketing and recruiting. It is challenging, a ton of work, and not as much money as I've been paid in the past. I am really happy where I am. Maybe I shouldn't say that because inevitably, some craziness will happen that will piss me off and make me wish I'd never said all that on here. Oh well, it was bound to happen at some point, right?

The thought of leaving for more money and a job I could do in my sleep is not appealing to me. I like what I'm doing and feel like I make a difference. A good difference. Maybe I have a martyr complex. It's not about the money (although I could use more). It's about learning and growing in a position and making the most of what you do. It's about feeling like you make a difference. And that your presence is valued and appreciated.

You Can't Always Get What You Don't Want

Yesterday, I blogged about how, in being "forced" by my husband to donate or toss the last remnants of baby gear, I realized I still have this place in me that kinda maybe wishes I could get pregnant. And by getting rid of that stuff, it symbolizes the release of that dream.

See, we adopted our kids because we couldn't have biological children together. If you click on any of 3 tabs up top (Dead Dreams, Our Adoption Story, Adoption Rocks), you can read our adoption journey. I love my kids. I know am on this earth to parent them. But technically, I can still get pregnant and give birth.

A couple of my regular blog friends (and real world friends) were very supportive of me in their comments. In replying to their comments, it became clear that another blog entry was brewing. So here is your response, ladies:

Oh, Ladies, thank you for your kind thoughts, suggestions and instilling a new fear in me - becoming so incredibly old that I will have entered the grandparent phase. Actually, I LOVE not having a baby. I don't feel the baby need. However, I have never gotten pregnant and seen the man that I love excited to be having a child with me. I have never bitched and complained about being fat or retaining water, or not being able to find cute clothes due to pregnancy. I have never screamed and yelled in pain of childbirth. My screaming and yelling is for other reasons - like J not taking out the trash. Because I have never had these things (and childbirth scares the hell out of me, btw), I want them.

J is not only sterile, but he was fixed a few years back so we could never ever have a biological child. I thought it would take away the feelings of failure each month when I got my period. Sadly, not the case. I thought it would take away the desire to see my spawn (quite curious as to what I could procreate). Sadly, not the case. I thought it would make me feel empowered: This is our choice. We chose to stop having children. Sadly, not the case.

I'm 40. I'll be 41 this year (well, 40 again 'cause it's been a great year). My eggs are drying up and what is left may not be the brightest or the best. However, I feel this gong going off in my head. 'Now or never' the gong says. But unless I tramp it up with some stud muffin, sadly, not gonna happen. Well, no, no, not an option.

Yet still, I find myself longing for that which I cannot have (the baby, not the stud muffin). Nor really want (again, the baby...). I think in my perfect world, I would be a surrogate. How perfect would that be? I get to be pregnant and legally required to be fat, have hours of epidural bliss labor then get to see what my eggs can do, hug the baby, hold the baby, give the baby to people who actually want the baby.

I wouldn't have to parent or feed or pay for the child or wake up at crazy hours or drive across town to pick/drop off kids at different schools. I wouldn't be almost 60 and trying to figure out how to retire AND pay for college. And, in helping to create a happy family for someone else, my good deed is done. I could quit volunteering for the rest of my life. Or at least 18 years of pay it forward goodness.

However, along with my decaying eggs is my decaying uterus. Seems I can't sell my eggs or my uterus to the highest bidder as I am a good 5 years past desireability. Yes, I have researched it. Do you realize how much money surrogates can make? How is a girl to help support her family in her 40's? Reeks of discrimination. Where's the civil liberties union when you need them to advocate for the marketability of your incubating parts?

For the most part, I really am happy and content. It's just every now and then, you realize you have some baggage that was packed away without being emptied from your last trip and you really should clean it out.

It's Over. Forever. I think.

I was cleaning out Mini Me's closet.  J was sitting on her bed observing the process. He said I needed to toss the diaper changing pad. And the potty/step stool combo. And a couple baby blankets. Mini Me's stroller was in there and it's also where the extra toddler car seat typically lives. He said we need to get rid of it all.

But I use them!! He asked when? When your sister and your sister-in-law came with their babies, this was very handy to have. "Get rid of it," he said. I've babysat kids here and it was very handy to have. "Have you babysat in the last year? Get rid of it." I loan my friends this stuff when they have friends in town. "Give it to them. Get rid of it."

He then told me I was reminding him of those people on Hoarders. Hoarders!! Hoarders!!! That cut me to the core.

I've been thinking about it a fair bit since. You know what it is? It's the fact that I will never have another child. Not that I want the late night feedings or diaper changes, etc. It's that I am forced to come to terms with the fact that I will truly never have another baby. Yes, I would buy all new stuff for a new baby, but letting go of the baby stuff means babydom for me is over. Forever. I think.

Meet Herb

This is Herb.

Well, technically, his parents gave him a different name at birth.  However, I gave my boy a different name at birth but this man insists on calling my son, "Herbert" or "Herb" for short.  

Last week, I took Mini Me to a birthday party while Motor Mouth and J were at the Tall Ships at Navy Pier. Herb was there with his lovely wife and their beautiful daughter. 

Herb's conversation with Mini Me went "something" like this:

"I know you." Mini Me

"You do?" Herb

"You call my brother, Turd!"

"No, I don't! I call him 'Herb'."

"Yes, you do!!! You call my brother 'Poop'!"

How do you know they really like it??

Earlier this year, I made this Pond Friends Stacking toy for a friend's baby.

Motor Mouth's school has a silent auction and fund raising banquet each year. I offered to make one for the 2011 silent auction. The development associate said she liked the idea. But you never really know if someone really likes something you made or if they are just being polite.

Well, now I know. 

She likes it!! She really likes it!!

Can you believe I was asked to make one for the development associate's friend? And she'll pay me to do it. That means she likes it. She really likes it!!

Widney Wednesday - Chicago Cubs

Today, we went to a Chicago Cubs game with a bunch of staff from J's office. 

Took the kids out of school.

It was sooooooo much fun!!!

I got to chat with Rosie, Rachel, Kimberly, Tim, and Kevin. 

And, I have scheduled times to get together with Rosie and with Rachel. 

Oh, wait!! We were there to see the game...

The Cubs won!!!!!!!