Take Time to Remember the Fun Times

J and I were reminiscing about all the times we surprised our family members by showing up across the country - or in another country - unexpected.  Sometimes we get mired in the day-to-day and forget to remember the fun, crazy moments.

Like the time we surprised my sister for her 40th birthday. We flew to Canada and got Motor Mouth dressed in a cute little short pants suit. We hid in the corner at my brother's place as my sister was surprised by dozens of friends and family. Then we came into view and it was a whole new surprise all its own. It was the first time anyone in my family had met Motor Mouth who was 4 months old.

Once, we arranged it with my sister's assistant to pick us up at the airport. She drove us to my family's business where we surprised my sister and brother. Then it was off to our my parents' home to surprise them! Nothing like house guests you weren't planning on having!

When I had foot surgery, my mom came to help us. We drove to the airport, telling her we had to pick up J's dad to take him back to his offices. She didn't think anything of it because my father-in-law had his offices based at the airport at the time. Mom couldn't believe her eyes when she saw my sister sit next to her in the Jeep. LOL!

One time, we drove all night and got to my parents at about 4 am. We dozed in the car for about 45 minutes when I figured my mom would be awake. I called her and said, "Hi Mom! Can you please come downstairs to open your front door for us?"

You should know that my family was not spontaneous when we were growing up. We planned for a week if we were going to have a family picnic to Niagara Falls which was only about 45 minutes from our home. So me dropping in on them from Tulsa or Chicago is unexpected at the least. And oh so much fun!!!

(Surprise emoticon found on 360Fashion.com)

Good Night and Good Bye

Is it just me or do you make sure you kiss your kids goodnight and goodbye and tell them you love them in case they die or you die?

I mean, I do it because I really do love my kids and want them to "have sweet dreams, sleep tight and not let the bed bugs bite" and to "have a great day at school/camp/etc." But I also look at them a moment longer in case it is the last time I see them. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one that does that because I'm insane and maybe a bit superstitious.

Peace of Mind

It's amazing the peace of mind that comes from knowing your child has medical insurance. See Mini Me at the top of that jungle gym? No worries. If she falls, I take to the emergency room, she gets X-rays, a cast, we go home. Insurance covers the bulk of the cost.

Last year, I didn't take the kids to the park as much as normal. Probably set their large motor skills development back a full year. When they did go, I spotted them. A lot. And I was SO nervous the entire time.

We went without medical insurance for over a year. One of the scariest, most nerve-racking times for me as a parent. I am truly happy that we, once again, have medical insurance. Peace of mind.

Mother Daughter Bonding

Motor Mouth has an impromptu play date with a friend. He is going to see a movie. I didn't know what to do with Mini Me. Mini Me said, "I wish we could see the Croods."

Movie Club. $6
Popcorn/drink combo w/free refills. $7
Spending quality time with my favorite baby girl. Priceless.

Family That Works Together

Tonight is the last night of install on J's new set design. The kids and I have been helping J all evening. It has been so much fun!

I used to help J with every install and production before we had children. I even used to run camera and put the images up on the screens. I've assembled par cans, stage directed. Whatever was needed.

This was the first time the kids were old enough to make a real difference. Volunteering is such a part of my personal mission and vision. Volunteering is a way of life for J and me. We are honored to see our kiddos following in our footsteps and giving back.

Mini Me outlasted Motor Mouth by 15 minutes. Nothing better than seeing your kids sleeping in church.

Family Movie Night

All four of us cuddled up on our sofa to enjoy Charlotte's Web. Our treat was candy canes.

We caught Charlotte's Web as part of Showtime's free weekend. How is it possible we don't have this classic in our movie repertoire???

After Charlotte's Web, Mini Me took off for the play room (Motor Mouth's bedroom) and J left the sofa in favor of his chair. Motor Mouth and I cuddled and watched Real Steel with Hugh Jackman.

Ma Familia

I can't believe this photo was taken just one year ago!!! The little kids have grown so much since then.

This photos has my two kids, my oldest brother's five kids and my youngest brother's little daughter. It represents the first time all the grand kids on this side of the family were together at once.

Widney Woman Birthday 2012

My wonderful husband and kids made my birthday sweet and wonderful! I was content to let the day slide by but J reminded me that we celebrate our birthdays for our kids - not us. LOL!

J and the kids gave me beautiful flowers. Love the flowers, love the kids! Mini Me helped pick these out.

Each year, I like to go to the Museum of Science and Industry to see the baby chicks as they hatch. They share the same birthday as me!

My favorite cake from Whole Foods...Yummy!!! Mini Me INSISTED I have a candle. But we only had leftover candles from their birthdays. So....I turned 5 on my last birthday! LOL

It was great to see the Annual Christmas tree. The museum always has trees from various countries. We searched and searched and finally found the Canada tree. 

And then, after the kids went to bed, J surprised me by watching my three favorite movies with me!

It was an amazing birthday. Sweet and simple. Filled with a lot of love.

Race Change

I was digging through old photos for a school project Mini Me had. A friend of ours was over and flipped through with me.

When he came to the top photo, he asked who the "Arab" family was. I told him it was me and my older siblings. When he got to the bottom photo, he asked how it was possible for us all to change race to become "Spanish."

Never really looked at it like that. But he kinda has a point....

Road Trip!!!

We needed to visit my family in Canada. 

We were all set to go for the Canadian Thanksgiving, but J got a job and didn't think it would be prudent to take time off ten days after starting...

It looked like the road trip was on hold. 

Until my BFF, Usher, told me his brother bailed 

on a road trip to the Buffalo, NY area. 

The next thing you know, 

Usher, Mini Me, Motor Mouth and I were on a road trip!

We visited with my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews. 

Took our annual sibling photo!

I hung out with my nieces and nephews!

We met back up with Usher for the drive back home.

There was some limbo dancing involved.

All in all, it was a really great trip.

But it's ALWAYS nice to be HOME!

Grandpa Fly Guy in the House

The other day, Grandpa Fly Guy came to visit for Grand Friends Day at school.

He is flying solo these days.

This visit was so much more fun and more relaxed than ever before. 

Grandpa Fly Guy visited Mini Me in her classroom for about an hour.

Then he visited Motor Mouth in his classroom for about an hour.

Grandpa was actively involved in each kiddo's learning environment.

The weekend was filled with fishing!!!

All in all, it was a really delightful visit.

We can hardly wait for another visit from Grandpa Fly Guy!!!

Giving Thanks

I am Canadian. Je suis Canadienne. In honor of the Canadian Thanksgiving today, I'm going to honor someone I love dearly and respect highly. I am supremely thankful for my father-in-law, Daryl Widney (aka Fly Guy).

There are precious few men in this world who are as amazing and generous as Fly Guy. Fly Guy is not one of those guys that give kisses and bear hugs. He doesn't open his mouth and say "I love you" every time. But he does show his love in many ways.

Following are excerpts from text messages I sent to my father-in-law recently...

For what it is worth, you may not have hugged me much in the last 14 years but here are my memories of how you told me you love me in your language. You could not have loved me like this if you had sat on your butt and never worked hard to eventually own your own companies. Thank you, Fly Guy. I love you back!

Experiences your love and genuineness of heart gave to me (and many of these you also gave to the rest of your family):

- telling me if I can't be your daughter-in-law I would just have to be your daughter,

- inviting me to live with your family when J and I got engaged,

- trekking me all across Texas where you had me sample foods I never heard of before,

- flying me around the country in helicopters and private jets,

- showing me off-shore drilling rigs,

- taking me to oil and gas well sites (I have not forgotten the rattlesnake scare you gave me in the Pecos desert),

- explaining the petroleum, and aeronautical industries to me,

- taking me to a flight simulator facility,

- being proud to introduce me to your millionaire friends,

- taking me to Colorado, Kansas, Ohio, Arkansas, Louisiana, Florida, and all over Oklahoma,

- taking time to teach me stuff about everywhere you took me,

- watching you engage with children (not just my own),

- being an amazing grandfather to my kids,

AND......

- Driving a Hummer around town
- Me, off-roading to an oil well in a HUMMER!!!
- Riding Harley's

My first 4th of July was spent on a speed boat, a yacht and a BIG yacht on Grand Lake with fireworks and the fighter jets flying over!

Vegas, Baby!!! How could I possibly forget Vegas! Grand Canyon was fogged in but you still took me there.

- The Jag (my company car)
- Scooters
- Horses
- 4-wheelers
- Dirt bikes
- The boat
- That swing by the pond!!!

Oh! Who rides a bulldozer? Much less gets to rip out a tree and help dig a pond that her kids now LOVE to fish in?!

- Shooting guns. A 9-millimeter at that.

- Karaoke. So I don't sing well but it sure was fun.

- The farm with Kent and Gene. The cows. Calf fries.

- Flying a plane to/from the farm. Me. Flying a plane!

You treat my son's birth mom's girls like your own grand children. They call you "Grandpa!"

- Disney World
- Daytona Beach
- Emory Riddle
- NASA
- 5 star hotels
- Top restaurants
- Pensacola trips x2
- Flying across country in a helicopter
- Cirque du Soleil Disney
- Downtown Disney
- Universal Florida
- Flying the coast line in a helicopter
- 2 helicopter conventions

- Bristol Tennessee to the Bell helicopter facility. Um. WoW! Flying in a corporate jet with execs then being picked up by 2 massive helicopters and flown to the Bell facility for the day. Um. Wow!

- Night vision goggles
- Laser
- Magnetic ball thing

This Canadian girl had never seen:
- the Continental Divide,
- the Mississippi River,
- the White Water Scandal river,
- the Tennessee mountains,
- the Rockies,
- swamp land in Mississippi,
- or forest fires.

- Trans Siberian Orchestra Concert!!! And dinner at Nonna's! That was one of the best nights ever as a family!!!!!

- Dinner in OKC with the Walkingsticks after great-Grandma's funeral. YOU paid for EVERYone's meal - your wife's siblings and spouses and kids!!!!!!!

The trip to Colorado was amazing for me. You took the time to explain all kinds of stuff to me. History, where we were, details, so much knowledge imparted on me.

Colorado Springs is one of my FAVORITE places and a DREAM living destination because you took me there and told me about it.
- Breckinridge, Denver, Colorado Springs, Garden of the Gods.

- A volcano!!! You took me to a volcano!

I LOVE Blue Angels because you introduced flying to my son and took us to my first American air shows.

Yeah, you've given me a few hugs and said you love me a few times but I never needed that to know you valued hard work, respect, people who think and question, honesty, integrity. You taught it by giving of the fruit of your labor.

Footnote: This list may seem materialistic. It is NOT. This recognizes that everyone has their own love language. Their own way of saying they love and care about you. Their own way of hearing and receiving your love. This is the love language of my father-in-law. I think he has spoken volumes.

Thank you, Fly Guy! The Chicago Widneys love you back!

Thankful Thursday: Welcome Home!

I was so happy to have my husband and kiddos come home that I made it special for them.

To make sure it all went well, I set it all up (except for the food) two whole days before!

I love my husband and our children. They are the most important and precious people I have the honor of being loved by. Knowing my children are back home, where they belong, and safe is everything to me. 

Bead Parenting

Now that our children are a little older, the most successful parenting tool has been a bead reward system.

It started off with a complex chart of what they needed to do in the morning and after school. Things like brushing their teeth, getting dressed, putting their swim clothes in front of the washer, etc. They could earn bonus beads for being kind and considerate of each other and others. Beads were taken away if they did not obey the first time (with a warning that they would lose beads) The reward for filling their jars was either money ($7) or a play date. They took to it!

Why $7? I didn't feel like doling out $20/week. And when I said $7, they were really excited! Turns out, it takes about a month to fill their jars. We tend to give them about $10 each.

To keep it fresh, the chart evolves. Whereas they were given beads for basic things they did, if they did not do them, beads were taken away. No swim clothes by the washer? Lose 2 beads. Motor Mouth goes to the pool 4x/wk so that can add up!

For awhile, the kids kept wetting their bed. It was insane. I decided to reward them for dry nights. Five beads for waking up dry. Wasn't sure this was good for their psyche but it worked. Dry mornings! Before the new year, we said they would stop getting beads for this as of New Year's Day.

We now give Mini Me 3 beads for waking up. BUT, if she cries for no reason, she loses 2 beads each cry. Crying has reduced.

Motor Mouth gets beads for getting all of his spelling and vocab words and memory verse right.

Both kids get extra beads for helping or being considerate of others. If we get a good report from the sitter, they are respectful to grow ups, behave in public, etc. they get bonus beads.

Conversely, if they are being an absolute putz, they get beads taken away. We give warnings and often it is enough to elicit the desired response. The beads removed must match the infraction.

We realize this is a temporary system. But until the kids figure beads with the hope of a play date or cash is lame, we are relishing the system.

Details on the Beads:
I first wanted to do marbles. I went online to order some but decided to go with the beads instead when I walked in to Pier 1 and found these lovely gems. I was able to pick some that matched Widney Loft that the children would like. The glasses were on sale as well. About 8 oz glasses. The circles are Mini Me's and the stripes are Motor Mouths. Kids have to fill their glasses to get a reward.

When the kids do well, they get the beads in their glass. When they don't do well, they lose a bead to the jar.

Art Meets Life

This painting is at the Art Institute in Chicago.

I have loved it for over three years as it reminds me 

of how my mother looked when she was younger.

This week, my mother visited us in Chicago.

It was a delight to show my mom this painting in person.

My Kids Are Never Coming Home!

Motor Mouth and Mini Me left for their summer in Oklahoma exactly one month ago. They are supposed to return in about a month. However, I don't think they will. 

Look at the fun they are having at the farm!

Yeah, so not coming home....

50th Wedding Anniversary

On July 1st, we celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. J and I were in Canada to be with my parents, siblings and their significant others for a BBQ. It was a nice family time. We always have a great time when we get together, especially when we meet up at Shangri La-Di-Da, my brother's home, nestled in the woods. 

Here is a video played at the anniversary BBQ. 

The flat screen outside was not cooperating so we found ourselves sprawled around the massive conference room type screen used as a TV in my brother and sister-in-law's bedroom. Some of us were on the bed, others on the floor, others on the sofa. I was in my brother's full body massage chair.

My mom's older sister was the only non-immediate family guest. A few days later she called my mom to tell her how special she felt being a part of our family. My uncle passed away four years ago and they only had one son, so four kids and their partners is huge for her. My aunt commented on how obvious it was that we love each other and the bond we share transcends money. It's about relationship, not how much money a parent gives their child she said (serious paraphrase).

Oh, I should mention the grandkids could not all make it. Some were out of the country, others had to work, etc...

Hurts Like Yesterday

Every once in awhile you get to meet a really incredible person. 

And sometimes, if you are really lucky, 

that person thinks you are pretty special too. 

One of those people in my life passed away a year ago on Sunday.

Grandma Barbara was one of the nicest, sweetest people who didn't say a bad thing about anyone in the fifteen years I knew her. 

She welcomed me into her family and her heart as if she had been my grandmother from birth. 

In 2008, Grandma was diagnosed with cancer.
She fought courageously for 2 years. 

I have wonderful memories of Grandma laughing,
making our favorite dishes and desserts, playing with our kids,
taking us to dinner, giving us hugs. 

It's all normal stuff but we only have memories now.

Sweet, delightful memories.

The Boys

The Boys

Motor Mouth (7), FedEx (21), Mountain Man (19), Book of Eli (17)

I was flipping through some pics my sister shared with me online. Here is a pic of my parents' 4 grandsons, taken at Christmas 2010. All but my Motor Mouth share the same dad - my oldest brother, Donuts.

Doesn't it look like Motor Mouth is a "dummy" and FedEx is the ventriloquist?


I'm going to throw this pic in...

Femme Nikita, Mini Me, Donuts, Shaq, Motor Mouth

These are 3 of my kids' favorite people in the world. They LOVE my brother's wife, Femme Nikita. Mini Me is forever FaceTiming with her cousin, Shaq, who is my brother's youngest daughter.

Father's Day 2011

Yeah, I know, this is a week late. However, we actually celebrated Father's Day with our kids 3 weeks ago because we knew they would be out of state on the real day. And they celebrated Father's Day in Mini Me's class 3 weeks and 2 days ago. So, you see, dates mean nothing to us.

The kids in Mini Me's class were told they could dress like their Daddy for the day. Mini Me was disappointed when J did not put on one of my dresses and go to school with her. For real.

Mini Me and J - Twins!

This is what they did in the classroom instead of doing her "works" like they were supposed to.