New Year's Eve 2010

On New Year's Eve we spent the evening at the Trump Hotel. 

It was divine.

J's parents had the kids in our condo for the night.

We watched the ball drop in New York.

I was asleep by 11:15 pm. 

J was asleep before that.

$25 bottle of water.

'Bling' is done in Swavorski crystals.

The next morning, we didn't do brunch at Trump because it was $95/pp (normally less but this brunch included champagne). Don't get me wrong. I've eaten some very expensive meals. I just couldn't justify $190 on eggs and toast for 2 people.

We ate at a restaurant downtown across from the Double Tree hotel.

We ran across the street to pick up a tin of Double Tree cookies!

Then we got in a cab at the Double Tree to take us to the Trump.

Haha!

The cookies were divine.

Pass or Fail?

Yes, it's another year end reflection but I'm going to be honest. Really honest.

2009 was a great and wonderful year continuing to build our lives in a new city. Lots of changes. I've had a hard time adjusting to some of the changes.

I thought things would be great when both kids started school. I thought I knew how to do the working mom thing. I thought wrong.

My home has not been really clean since August. I have not cooked every day (or even every week) since August. I have not hung out with friends, done an outstanding job on volunteer work, completed anything I started, or kept up with laundry. Don't ask about grocery shopping.

If I were to be graded on every area of my life, I would fail. I did not excel in any area at the detriment of the others. I sucked across the board. I'm not happy with how things went and I'm sure there are a lot of people who are not happy with me as well.

The last 2 weeks were about getting my life back on track. I literally and figuratively cleaned house. I went back to basics. Our home is clean. The baseboards are clean. The closets are clean. The laundry is put away. I've cooked and baked. And yes, I've spent time with my husband and children. It was wonderful. It was a great reminder of the me I fell in love with after moving to Chicago.

My goal for 2010 is to figure out a way to maintain a balance in our lives. There will be changes. My family deserves to live in a happy, organized home. I'm not trying to be supermom. I just want to be a mom that is on her game so her husband and kids can be happy.

Year End

year end

Here's another little meme my friend at The Fairy Blogmother likes to close the year out with....

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Drove a Hummer in downtown Chicago, gone without a fully functional (yet NEW) washing machine for 5 months, worked at a school, cooked a full Christmas dinner on my own and for just my immediate family, had my hair dyed pink, purple and blue (at once), put 9,000 miles on a new car in 4 months, saw the Chicago River dyed green.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Don't remember all I said but probably not. I have some ideas I'd like to implement this coming year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Who didn't?? Ashley, Katie, Lara, Laurie, Liliana, Lynne, Mary Anne, Misty, Normie, Neighbor Rosa and probably some I forgot. And if they didn't give birth this year, they are preggo and about to pop!! Why do you think I stopped drinking water and only mainline Red Bull?? They are ALLLLLLL boys, too, except for Laurie and Normie.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My uncle. But we were no longer close.

5. What countries did you visit?
Only the USA. Little matter about an expired passport.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A smokin' hot bod.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
President Obama's inauguration for obvious reasons. Impromptu tour of Oprah's Harpo Studio. Michael Jackson's death. My SIL & BIL coming to visit in August b/c it was their first time in ChiTown. Spending a solid week at Grandma Grandma's bedside b/c we all thought she was going to die but she pulled through!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I felt like a failure for most of the year. Maybe giving gifts to people that they genuinely liked - I suck at gift-giving so this was a major score for me.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My entire year. I failed at juggling work and home and family and friends. Truly, I feel like a complete failure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Praise God, no! Other than cutting my foot and requiring stitches, it was uneventful health wise for the fam.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our city car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mini Me for not being a crying mess at school. Of course, that means she is a mess on the drive home and in the evening, but she holds it together in school and at the end of the day, I think that is what matters.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Everyone who treated Michael Jackson like an ass for so long, only to sing his praises when he died. Why couldn't we have shown him some love before he died?

Ohh!! And Adam Lambert. Why did he have to blow his whole wad (literally) in one performance? I wish he had eased us into his madness and not been so prideful. I wanted to enjoy his music. Now I am sorry I paid money to vote for him and even this mention of him on my blog is pissing me off.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent. Tuition. Food.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Making Christmas dinner for my family.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
I Got a Feeling by The Blackeyed Peas. They performed it on the Chicago River with a flash mob dancing on the season opener for Oprah's Show.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer?
a). sadder b/c I wish I was home full-time b). fatter c). richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Widney Wednesdays

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Working outside the home.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Cooking and baking for my family and spending the day in PJs.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Yes. With a cow named MooMoo.

22. How many one-night stands?
None this year. I'll make a goal of that next year.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Brothers and Sisters.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word.

25. What was the best book you read?
Obstacles Welcome by Ralph de la Vega. Must read book.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Lady Gaga

27. What did you want and get?
iPhone 3Gs. New car. Tickets to see Yoni Ki Baat (South Asian version of the Vagina Monologues)

28. What did you want and not get?
A smokin' hot bod.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Hangover!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Spent the day with my family and ate at Cafe Trinidad. Had my favorite cake from Whole Foods for dessert. I turned 40. J wanted to throw me a big party but I really just wanted to quietly and gracefully usher in this wonderful and miraculous age.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not working outside the home.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Fat girl cover up.

33. What kept you sane?
My faith in God. Knowing that God has been there for me/us and will continue to be there.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hugh Jackman. Robert Downey Jr.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
US health care. I know how scary it is to not have health care and I have seen the massive debt a major illness can incur.

36. Who did you miss?
My Canada and Tulsa family and friends.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
My office mate, PixieGirl. I should blog about her and tell you how wonderful she is. PixieGirl makes leaving my home and family to go in to the office worth it. She is a little gift from God every day I walk in to the office.

And online, Outnumbered. He keeps me laughing.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Not to talk to people or send emails the week immediately before and the few days during my period.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I gotta feeling...

Year End Meme

This was a fun and a bit cathartic

It's what all the cool bloggers are doing

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? 

Experience the devastation of a spouse's lay off, sell a home, travel with 2 children alone, move across country with my own family, become a stay@home mom, homeschool my son, blog almost daily, crochet amigurumi, create family on our own.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I don't make new year's resolutions. But last year, my husband and I said we wanted to work on developing friendships outside of our family (parents, siblings). We didn't have a chance to do this as our lives were turned upside down in January with J's lay off. But I feel like I've developed some online friendships that are meaningful to me, through my blog sphere and with the aid of Facebook. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 

Yes. My sister-in-law gave birth to her very first son. He is beautiful!!!!

4. Did anyone close to you die? 

Not this year. 

5. What countries did you visit? 

U.S. and Canada.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? 

I would like to develop the kind of woman friend relationships I read and hear about. I don't know how to do that so this next year will be interesting. 

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

March 31st - J started his new job

April 18th - We moved our family to Chicago

Nov 4th - Obama election

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

I'm a different person than I was in January. I run our home. Instead of my husband doing all the cooking and shopping and child care, I do it. We've created a new picture of what our family looks like. 

9. What was your biggest failure? 

I have been really bad at procrastinating. I think it is how I am 'handling' my year of massive change. "If I don't do it or look at it, it's not there and I don't have to deal with one more thing." Not good.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 

Nope. Nothing new. I am still recovering from a foot injury from Feb/Mar '06 that I had surgery for Mar '07. I thought it would have been history by now. It's not.

11. What was the best thing you bought? 

Any one of my 3 purses from my special store in Tulsa. I get compliments EVERY time I go out with any one of those bags. Strangers compliment me all the time on them. I had J pick out 2 more while in Tulsa this Christmas.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? 

My kids for adjusting to city life without skipping a beat.  They just go with the flow. They don't complain about the cold. They are so wonderful.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Mine.

14. Where did most of your money go? 

Mortgage/rent, clothes - we've all gone up 3 sizes this year!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

Nothing. This was a really, really, really hard year. For all the great things - like our amazing loft - there has been a lot of hard and bad. I hit such lows this year, I never thought I could claw my way back up. Right now, I feel numb. Don't get excited about stuff and I won't get disappointed.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

No One by Alicia Keys. It was the first radio song Mini Me started singing, all on her own.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier, fatter and about the same.

My mother says if you don't have more money saved at the end of the year than you started with, then you have failed. We lost money on our house sale in Tulsa and have been living on savings since January. I think being about the same is a plus, all things considered.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 

Save more. Do yoga more.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? 

Crying.

20. How did you spend Christmas? 

In Tulsa with my husband's family. Because gifts were opened Tuesday night, it felt like Christmas was our usual New Year's Day dinner with extended family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? 

I fell in love with my husband again. And we all fell in love with Chicago, our new church, and our new friends.

22. What was your favorite TV program? 

Ugly Betty and Brothers & Sisters and House.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 

I avoid hatred - way too strong of an emotion for me. I will say, I am much less angry and frustrated with my husband's former employers than I was at this time last year. I'm happier with our lives this year and it's, in part, thanks to them.

24. What was the best book you read? 

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained: How to Defeat Mommy Stress by Lysa Terkeurst

It made me realize I am not alone and that other women go through the same stuff.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? 

96.3 - Our Chicago radio station that has amazing great music. 

26. What did you want and get? 

I got more than I bargained for this year. Very blessed.

27. What did you want and not get? 

To break even on our house sale. A sewing machine.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? 

I Am Legend with Will Smith. It came out Dec '07 but I think I saw it '08. I want to get it on DVD but I'm afraid it will give me bad dreams again. I loved it though!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 

Went to the Museum of Science & Industry with the family. Saw chickens hatch - on my my birthday! I could have watched them all day. We ate lunch at Cafe Trinidad - after all, I was born in Trinidad. Then my wonderful husband took the kids and gave me hours and hours and hours alone. I turned 39.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 

The year turned out pretty good. Maybe if I didn't have to go to the brink of insanity to get here.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? 

2007? I was actually dressed pretty trendy in 2007.

2008? I gained so much weight, I just wear whatever fits! 

32. What kept you sane? 

Blogging. My faith in God - I know from history that it all works out.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 

Famous people don't move me that much. I did meet Oprah.

34. How many one-night stands?

Two. Hahaha! Just joking. I'm married.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The reaction of my Christian, Republican friends to Obama's presidential win

36. Who did you miss? 

Living: My in-laws, Misty, Aubry, my Sistas

Dead: Grant Kent. I am always blown away at how much I still miss him.

37. Who was the best new person you met? 

My new pastor: Jackson Crum. Jackson himself is great, but it is the team of elders, pastors, directors, staff he has developed around him that make Park Community Church a place we love to worship and work at.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. 

Same thing I learn every year - It's all gonna work out in the end!

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. 

Bob Marley's "Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing"

"Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

A Whole New Year!

Welcoming in 2009 with a champagne toast!

12:30 AM - Jan 1, 2009

I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions. Like most people who claim to not do resolutions, it is because I made them and broke them and feel badly for the rest of the year. I am a mother. 

I live with enough guilt as it is.

The New Year is a good time to reflect on the past year's accomplishments. My life is so different from where it was last year at this time, it is as if someone threw out my life. Oh wait - they did! 

On Christmas, my friend, Starr, was giddy-giggly about the changes in me. Starr has known me since 2000. She was so shocked at watching me sewing and crocheting. And the whole homeschooling thing blew her away. That and the cooking. She doesn't even read my blog (a New Year Resolution she should plan on for herself). The point is, I have undergone a major

transformation this year. 

There is a MEME going around that asks what you did for the first time this year. Hmmm, baked bread from scratch, cooked a turkey (2), made stuffing/dressing, kept a plant alive for 6 months, homeschooled, moved to Chicago, traveled alone with 2 kids, finished a crochet project, gave amigurumi as gifts, blogged almost daily, made a gingerbread house, became self-employed, sold a home, moved my family across country, experienced a spouse's layoff. And, for the first time since I was 10, I did less than 10 hrs volunteer work total in 8 months.

Did I do it all with as much grace and finesse and love as I would have liked? Nope. So that is what I need to work on. Speak softer and kinder to my 

husband and kids. 

I have spent all this time doing stuff for my family, but I don't feel like I've really enjoyed them. I want to spend more carpet time with my kids. The gingerbread house taught me to loosen up. I was so bent on making a perfect house for my kids. But they just wanted a gingerbread house. Well, Motor Mouth did say several times my house did not look like the box. This year, I am going to let them decorate with my guidance, if they want it. It doesn't have to be perfect. The time together is more important than the end result.

Most of all, I want to truly love my daughter this year. She was such a difficult baby. She is stubborn and strong willed (where did she get that from??!) And she is so hormonal, it drives me up a wall. In 2008, I began to really like my little girl. By the end of the year, I want to be able to say I love her and know it is the truth and not 'fake it until you make it'. 

And get a handle on our laundry. 

It's obscene right now. 

I need to create and follow a system.

I've always wanted to be one of those people whose homes others can come to at any time and it be clean. I'm almost 40. I never kept my bedroom clean growing up. I have not managed to live like that for all these years. I think I just have to find a way to keep things manageable and then learn to not care if someone comes over and sees stuff out. 

2008 was about being the perfect stay@home mom. 

2009 should be about relaxing the perfection and 

living the life with joy.

I pray you will have a better 2009 than you 

ever imagined possible.