Bead Parenting

Now that our children are a little older, the most successful parenting tool has been a bead reward system.

It started off with a complex chart of what they needed to do in the morning and after school. Things like brushing their teeth, getting dressed, putting their swim clothes in front of the washer, etc. They could earn bonus beads for being kind and considerate of each other and others. Beads were taken away if they did not obey the first time (with a warning that they would lose beads) The reward for filling their jars was either money ($7) or a play date. They took to it!

Why $7? I didn't feel like doling out $20/week. And when I said $7, they were really excited! Turns out, it takes about a month to fill their jars. We tend to give them about $10 each.

To keep it fresh, the chart evolves. Whereas they were given beads for basic things they did, if they did not do them, beads were taken away. No swim clothes by the washer? Lose 2 beads. Motor Mouth goes to the pool 4x/wk so that can add up!

For awhile, the kids kept wetting their bed. It was insane. I decided to reward them for dry nights. Five beads for waking up dry. Wasn't sure this was good for their psyche but it worked. Dry mornings! Before the new year, we said they would stop getting beads for this as of New Year's Day.

We now give Mini Me 3 beads for waking up. BUT, if she cries for no reason, she loses 2 beads each cry. Crying has reduced.

Motor Mouth gets beads for getting all of his spelling and vocab words and memory verse right.

Both kids get extra beads for helping or being considerate of others. If we get a good report from the sitter, they are respectful to grow ups, behave in public, etc. they get bonus beads.

Conversely, if they are being an absolute putz, they get beads taken away. We give warnings and often it is enough to elicit the desired response. The beads removed must match the infraction.

We realize this is a temporary system. But until the kids figure beads with the hope of a play date or cash is lame, we are relishing the system.

Details on the Beads:
I first wanted to do marbles. I went online to order some but decided to go with the beads instead when I walked in to Pier 1 and found these lovely gems. I was able to pick some that matched Widney Loft that the children would like. The glasses were on sale as well. About 8 oz glasses. The circles are Mini Me's and the stripes are Motor Mouths. Kids have to fill their glasses to get a reward.

When the kids do well, they get the beads in their glass. When they don't do well, they lose a bead to the jar.

Works for Me Wednesday - Winter Carnival

What Works for Me this Wednesday is the Indoor Winter Carnival I hosted at the school where I work.

Part of my role as the marketing & recruiting associate is to host events that will bring our school families and the general public into our building. A great way to get our name into the community through fliers, postcard mailers, web advertising and signs is to have a fun, family event with no strings attached. Come have fun at our school and we will not ask you for your name or even offer a facility tour. 

I lost sleep last week while hoping and praying (begging really) 

to get enough volunteers and at least 200 people attending. We had over 260! 

The Gathering Place (large multi-purpose room)

massive inflatable, free balloons, bracelet making,

activity table, carnival game, seating for parents

Look at the size of that caterpillar inflatable!

The Great Room (gym)

2 inflatables, 3 carnival games, traversing wall

face-painting, temporary tattoos, concessions

3-in-1 Combo Inflatable

Homemade Fishing Game

Kids fished for a Beanie Baby

Judging from the continuous lines, it was a hit!

 Traversing Wall

Even I had my face painted!

This photo sums it all up:

balloons, face-painting, temporary tattoos, bracelet making, 

Beanie Babies won from the fishing game,

shoeless feet to run from inflatable to inflatable, 

popcorn, pizza, rice krispie treats in her tummy,

and a great big smile on her face!

Works for Me Wednesday - Magic

At work, I have a great big desk. Sometimes, Motor Mouth draws or does homework on the other side of my desk. On Friday, he drew a picture like normal.

But this time, the permanent markers went through the paper and onto the desk!

I didn't know what to do! 

I tried a few products we had handy but nothing worked.

Normally, this is not a good thing. It was compounded by an office move. I have been sharing and office with the development associate. But she is moving to the man cave and I will be in this big office all by myself. Sigh. Deeply. I'm moving to her desk and my desk is going to be used by other people. 

Of all the times to have permanent marker on my desk!!!

At my wits end, I asked the development associate what I should use to get it out. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser she suggested.

It worked!

Magic Erasers are MAGIC.

This was not the first time I ever used a Magic Eraser but never occurred to me to use the eraser on a shiny wood desk. It did not hurt the finish at all. It was cleaned perfectly. I am in LOVE with Mr. Clean!!!

I need to mention that whomever makes Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (S.C. Johnson maybe?) did not pay me for this post. I am just that thrilled it worked for me. 

Works for Me Wednesday

In my previous post: Tackle It Tuesday: Inconvenient Lifestyle, I wrote about what I am working on this year. 6 weeks into it, this is what has worked so far:

1 toy at a time

Making the kids stick to only playing with 1 toy at a time was lofty goal. But they got it. They sometimes play with 1 toy and leave it out while they play with another then another. But in the grand scheme of things, it is working.

5-minute bedtime clean

Which leads me to the kids' 5-minute clean at the end of the day. Because they don't take out 50 toys to play with and leave them everywhere, it makes the cleaning at the end of the day super easy. And, more importantly, the kids no longer argue or resist cleaning the play/bedroom. The amount of peace that brings to our home is priceless.

No Movies or Wii during the week

This was not on the original list but I no longer allow the kids to play movies in Motor Mouth's room after school. If it is a school night, they are not allowed to have big screen time. They are allowed to play with their little screens - Leapster games, Leapfrog books, kiddie laptops, math games on the desktop computer. Basically, if it is an educational screen, they can watch on a school night. Otherwise, nope.

15-minute clean

This worked for 3 weeks then fell apart when I got sick. When we do abide by it, it works amazingly well for general tidiness. If someone would help with this more, it might work better.

Activity Jar

I haven't pulled anything from the jar, but I did spend a lot of time crocheting a baby gift so I feel like this is accomplished.

Updates on the rest:

In January, I had 2 weeks of 45 hr/wk at my normally 32 hr/wk job and I got really sick for 4 straight days. Not that this excuses stuff, but I do believe it played a major role in the breakdown of the following:

- Widney Wednesday. I didn't get to Widney Wednesday in January. We did go to the top of the Hancock Building. I think I need to schedule this. But I have to say, we do a lot together as a family, so it's not like we are strangers running in crazy directions.

- 1 load of laundry per day. Sore subject as I lost The Mommy Project's laundry throwdown and still have not tackled that mountain.

- Night Prep. The prepping meals and clothes at night fell by the wayside but I do see the benefit and need for it.

- Home Cooking. I have cooked at home more. It's just hard when I have evening meetings at 6 pm across town.

Works For Me Wednesday!

What works for me? Our professional serving tray!!

Our kitchen and dining room are separated by a long hallway. It is nice to be able to put our full plates, cups, condiments, and napkins on this tray, reducing the number of trips back and forth. 

There are several restaurant supply stores near Harpo Studios (where Oprah works). J picked this tray up one day, many months ago. It was a fabulous investment. We love, love, love it!!

Makes clean up a snap, too!!

So tell me? What works for you??

And please don't forget to visit the home of 

What Works for Me?