Streaming Rain

At 5:30 am this morning, I awoke to the sound of water pouring into our loft. J had placed towels in the offending areas at about 1:00 am. 

The water was not dripping when I saw it. 

It was coming down in one continuous stream - like a faucet!!

This is how much water I collected in 1 hour this morning.

So living in a converted box factory that had a flat roof is maybe not all perfect. But it sure makes for interesting blogging!!

Terrible Adoptive Mom

Mini Me's birth parents are both in prison right now. I feel a greater need to communicate with them more because they are locked up all day long. Wouldn't you want letter and photos often?

When I get busy, I don't talk to anyone who is not right in front of my face. This Spring, I went for 3-4 weeks straight without touching base with my mom or sister. Perhaps I shouldn't feel so bad for not sending letters to TT and JJ if I haven't even spoken to my own mother. Or emailed her. But still, my mother is a busy woman and clearly didn't notice the lack of contact or she would have called, right?

So, I devised this plan to send TT and JJ postcards every week. Writing letters takes a long time. Postcards are easy. I was doing great until I got back from vacation. I've fallen off the wagon. 

I need to send pictures too. The kids are growing and changing so much!! I should mention that although TT and JJ are technically, Mini Me's birth parents, our rule is that we adopt your child, but our kids are a package deal. JJ has agreed to 'be Motor Mouth's birth father' as well. Not really fair to Motor Mouth to not have a birth father. 

J is responsible for photos so maybe I should place the blame on him....

At any rate, I should stop blogging and mail out a postcard or two.

Freaky Friday - Eye on Chicago

Chicago has a new art installation

Yes, it is an eye

A big, 3-story eye

What do you think....?

Installation located at State & Van Buren
While you are there, look to your left to admire the incredible
architecture of the library building - the one with the gargoyles. 

God Help Me!!

Beautiful Mini Me

I love this little girl. 

She is sweet, funny, quirky, silly, smart, loving, crazy, beautiful.

There are days, weeks, I feel so inadequate to properly parent this being. I could not imagine parenting without J. This child comes up with new twists and turns frequently. When I think I have a handle on how to manage her, she switches the menu.

God says he doesn't give you more than you can handle, but wow, I am out of my league with this one. And she is 4. I feel like I have to do all this stuff right now, or we are going to lose her when she is a teenager. Our job is to train up this child in the way she should go but 2 people are not enough. I feel like I need a village with this one. 

Why I Blog

Why do I blog??

I blog our lives because you just can't make this crap up!! I wish I had been blogging back in the days when I caused a band of drug dealers to take off from an airport and possibly ditch their airplane because they thought we were the FBI or ATF. Or when I flew in a private jet, got picked up by 2 huge helicopters then flew back across country in a helicopter - all in 1 day. Or the time we flew in said helicopter from Tulsa to Orlando. Or the time a 60-yr old woman flashed her booby at me and J in front of our kids - 3 times!! Or the time we tracked the movements of a drug dealer using the telescopic lens on our camera. No one would believe me. 

I got a phone call this week that you would not believe.
Due to confidentiality, I cannot elaborate.
However, suffice it to say, we have mad crazy lives.

15 Minutes Per Day - The Rantings of a Mad Woman

I am in this writing class and I have committed to writing for 15 minutes each day. I should have done it this morning because right now, I don't feel like writing for 5 minutes, much less 15 minutes.

Instead of writing, I would prefer to read OPB - Other People's Blogs. Or read a book. Or do work. Or watch TV. Or do the nasty. Or anything but sit here writing for 15 minutes. Hmmm....how many more minutes do I have...?

My brain is shut off. It's only about 9:40 pm. I have so much work I should finish for my day job.
- create a customer service policy/creed for our staff
- partially design a website to see if we should go with that provider
- design the fall marketing material
- list where our new families in the last 2 years heard about us
- plan a few events - food, exciting activities, etc.,
- reorganize my files on the computer
- create about 8 wish lists now that the design has been finalized
- and a bunch of other stuff.
I don't know when I am going to fit it all in. I would like to work away from the office to get it done without any interruptions, but feel guilty for not being there in case my co-workers need assistance or a potty break.

A couple things I'm thinking about doing personally are these:
- Post 1 picture a day for 1 year. I heard someone else say it and thought that would be fun. And a great way to develop my photography skills. But it is her vision and not mine. So is that too copy cat-ish?

- Ben Franklin or George Washington or someone like that (old and with a white wig) decided to make a list of things he wanted to improve himself upon. For 1 week, he would focus and work on each. I like that. I think it would be a good idea.

- Smile more. J says I don't smile enough. I started smiling and he says I creep him out.

- Ordering groceries online and having them delivered. I wanted to do this 2 years ago, but they did not deliver here back then. Now, they do. And now, I don't have time to go grocery shopping, but I need to. So, I was thinking I could order the food online and not feel as guilty.

l love my job and love what I do and enjoy working where I work. But working full-time sucks!!!!!!! I had an 18-month taste of what it is like to be a stay@home mom. I want that life again. I want to have time to clean my home and care for my family. To be able to cook dinner and buy groceries at 4 different stores to get what we need. I want to be able to have time to take my kids out to the water fountains to play on a whim. To visit every playground in our neighborhood, including the brand new playground with shade. So much I want to do with my kids but work is in the way and housekeeping is in the way.

I need to figure out a way to keep my house clean, kids fed, family activities planned, time with friends, and work in check. And have a wonderful relationship with my husband.

Cloning. How are they coming on cloning? Hmmm....

That was 20 minutes. Boo-yah!!!

It's Time!!

It's time to purchase a pie or cake carrier.

I made a lovely pie to take to a dinner party at MAM's. While prepping for travel, I realized the pie was too high for the lid to be used without smashing the fruit on top, smearing the Cool Whip and making the pie look disgusting.

I improvised.

Like I said, it's time for a cake or pie carrier.

Writing Workshop II - Week Two

If you EVER have a chance to take one of MAM's summer writing classes, TAKE IT!! Or, if you ever have the opportunity to take one of MAM's university classes, it will be well worth the money. I should mention MAM is writing a book on writing so one day, you will be able to learn to write using beautiful language, realistic and intriguing characters with juicy plot lines that keep you up all night turning pages!

This week, we did a great exercise to help develop a character. MAM had us pair up (she was my partner) to ask questions about each other's character. It was exactly what I needed to further develop my character and another character based on the questions she asked. I'm going to do this with the other characters.

Another question MAM asked was what cartoon character this character is most like. I chose Alice in Wonderland from the Johnny Depp movie version Alice. I liked this exercise because it really made me think long and hard about who my character is. I don't watch many cartoons and it's been far too long since I read the original Alice in Wonderland.

Looking forward to doing the homework - reading a few chapters of MAM's book, 15 minutes of writing per day, and something else I can't remember right now and it's late so I'm not looking it up because you won't really care anyway.

Transformers Chicago

I LOVE living in Chicago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Transformers movie is filming in Chicago. 

We got to see some really cool stuff while driving around. 

I got to be about 20 feet from 

Optimus Prime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited!!! I'm not one to go gaga over a star but well, seeing Optimus Prime really got me excited.

Street scenes with torn up streets, blown up cars

Michigan Ave bridge with destruction all around

Doctor Needed

You have heard of brand loyalty, I'm sure. Well, when it comes to medical professionals, I'm a bit of a brand loyalty snob. I like my doctors and I stick with them.

I had the same doctor growing up for 14 years. In my late teens, I found a doctor that I stuck with for about 11 years until I moved to Tulsa. When I say stuck with, I mean I followed him from group practice to self-practice, location to location to location. It would take me over an hour to get to him. That's loyalty!

I finally found a doctor in Tulsa I liked. Then I had to switch insurance companies and lucked out with a great doc the first time.

Now we are in Chicago and I can't find a doctor I like. The market is saturated with women doctors but I prefer men doctors. One male doctor I found weighed no less than 350 pounds. The other male doctor was so shy and timid (after years in practice), I thought I was going to have to kiss him first.

To be honest, I did find 2 doctors I like in Chicago. But they are at Outpatient clinics and not general practice physicians. How frustrating!!

All I need is a refill on my allergy medicine. That's all.

Faith Like Draino

We are told that if we have faith the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. Have you seen how itty bitty teeny weeny tiny a mustard seed is? And have you seen any news reports of shifting mountains? Does that mean us humans are faithless creatures?

When I was young and impressionable, I was full of faith!! One time, my bathtub was not draining. I thought I had done something wrong so I was too scared to tell my landlord. And it had never happened at my parents' home, so I guess I didn't think to tell my dad. I knew I had a whole lot of faith to make that water go down. So I started praying up a storm and speaking to that mountain of water!! Nothing happened. I gave it the night.

The next morning, I leaped out of bed, bounded into the bathroom, pulled back that shower curtain and still nothing. That night, I practically ran into the house and raced down the hall to the bathroom. No drainage. Or the next day either. Finally, I mentioned it to a co-worker who told me to buy Draino. Draino worked.

There's really nothing wrong with being young, stupid, and full of wide-eyed belief. What this faith experience taught me was that there are some things that have a natural course and path and nothing we do will change that. And there are things that we don't need faith for. We just need Draino.

Imagine you are pregnant and about to go for an ultrasound to find out if you are having a boy or a girl. You are praying and begging God that you are going to have whichever sex you have your little heart set on. 4-5 months ago, when your baby was conceived, the sex was determined. There are laws of nature that we can't manipulate and God doesn't interfere with. No amount of Draino will change the sex of that baby.

Ever dream about what you are going to do and buy when you win the lottery? When was the last time you bought a lottery ticket? You need to buy a ticket - and some Draino.

My brother became extremely ill a number of years ago. His heart stopped beating in the ICU. His stats were off the charts. If he survived, he was going to have to have dialysis for the rest of his life. The doctors were at a loss. They had been doing everything they could to save my brother's life but it wasn't working. Everyone we knew joined their faith with ours and prayed for him to be healed. My brother's health turned around. The doctors and hospital staff were amazed. Within a couple days, he was released from the hospital and has never had residual effects. That was mustard seed faith that moved a mountain of sickness.

What are you hoping and wishing and praying for?

Knowing Me, Knowing You - July '10

It is time once again for monthly interview project created by The Fairy Blogmother.

1. Do you like to garage sale?
No if you mean do I like to go to garage sales. In theory I would love to garage sale. It's big in Tulsa almost year round. But I am always disappointed in the junk people have for sale.

YES if you mean do I like to hold garage sales. I am often complimented on how nice my sale items are. J helps and we 'style' our sales. Like the time we were selling a bed and a comforter set, we brought the bed out, set it up with the comforter set. SOLD in 15 minutes. We also had a baking rack that matched our kitchen table and chairs, plus napkins, place mats, centerpiece. We set it all up together. Everything sold within 20 minutes (except the kitchen table & chairs which was just there to draw the crowd in).

2. What do or would you garage sale for?
Tea pots. I collect tea pots. I look for Longaberger baskets that people don't realize are a collector's items and have selling for dirt cheap.

3. Cloth or paper napkins?
In Tulsa we were more formal and did cloth. In Chicago, I just don't have the time to be washing and folding napkins. Plus, where would I put it all??

4. Ever re-gift?
I've joked about it and talked about to the point people think I have. But to be honest, I can't think of anything I've ever actually re-gifted. I have definitely re-gift bagged.

5. Are you watching Big Brother or Last Comic Standing?
No. I only ever watched the first season of Big Brother.
Nope. Never seen Last Comic Standing.

If you want to play on your blog, be sure to head on over to The Fairy Blogmother to give her some Linky love.

Truthful Tuesday - They May Go to Hell Because of Me

Last night, in my writing workshop, we had to share an embarrassing story about ourselves. What I'm about to share is not known by many people, including my mother. I have not shared this story with my mother for about 30 years. Here's to hoping she doesn't read my blog...

I come from a long line of good Catholics. My mother was such a good Catholic, she almost entered the nunnery. 

We were great Catholics. 

We ate fish on Fridays and observed Lent. And when we got in trouble, 

we even kneeled before a photo of Jesus. 

But then my oldest brother told my mother he didn't believe in God.

It freaked her out. 

Soon, we were born again Christians. We were good born again Christians. 

My mom was determined to share the gospel of the Good News of Jesus with all those she encountered.

There were a lot of us in my home. My parents. My grandparents. My 3 older siblings. 8 of us. That's a lot of people. Chances of being home alone with so many people in a house are pretty slim to none. 

A couple things happened. First, I became best friends with Maria Cannizzarro. Maria was a tiny Italian girl with a mouth so foul, she could curse a boatload of sailors into blushing. And my grandfather died. Then my grandmother went to live with my aunt abroad for 6 months. 

I found myself alone at home. A lot. 

My favorite thing to do when home alone was to stand in the upstairs hallway, near the kitchen, and shout every possible profanity and combination of profanity my 11-yr old mind could imagine within a 5 minute period. Top of my lungs. Every swear word known to man. Or me. Sometimes, the kitchen windows were open.

Later that fall, my mother returned from witnessing to the next door neighbor. A stay-at-home mom. Witnessing is when you talk about Jesus and invite someone to be a Christian. 

It didn't go so well.

As fate would have it, the neighbor lady told my mother that she wanted no part of God, based upon the things she heard coming from our home. Ummm...

My mother was so shocked and confused. She thought we had a good family life. She asked all of us kids what the neighbor could possibly be talking about. I think Mom thought we were fighting when she wasn't home. I'm fairly confident, my mother never thought her 11-year old daughter had been cursing at the top of her lungs the entire spring and summer.

30 years later and my mother has never been told this story. 

In fact, I don't think any of my siblings know the story either...

Writing Workshop II - Week One

Some of you may remember I took a Writing Workshop my very first summer in Chicago. That's how I met my dear friend, MAM. She was the instructor. Well, it's my 3rd summer in Chi-Town and pretty much the only writing I did since then was this captivating blog.

It was time for another Writing Workshop. Forced motivation to get my butt in gear and do some 'real' writing. No offense to the bloggy world but Oprah doesn't have a blog club, now does she?

This class is full of women! The last class was mainly women, but there was one South Asian stud muffin in the group. Moms mainly. I love how diverse MAM's circle is. She is such an interesting person.

My homework is to write for 15 minutes straight each day. Nice to be forced to write. Forced to commit time to spew my thoughts on paper. Or cyber space....

4 Yr Old Runaway

The kids were so excited to show me something when I got out of the shower. Turns out, Motor Mouth got creative with his canvas: Mini Me.

Motor Mouth was so proud of his 'tattoo' art on his sister. 

I told them we could keep it on until Daddy got home then we would have to wash it off. (Mini Me has to wear her bikini to day camp tomorrow.) 

No drama. Just calm conversation.

Afterwards, the kids and I were playing on the bed. Motor Mouth pushed me and I almost fell off. Motor Mouth felt bad. I told him it wasn't a big deal. 

The next thing I know, I get THIS taped to the hallway light switch!!!

Notice the 'dinosaur footprints'

I told the kids they were welcome to runaway and that they should pack their suitcases. This is how Mini Me did. Notice the assortment of winter clothing. In July.

They were not allowed to take toys.

Motor Mouth decided he didn't want to runaway anymore. 

Mini Me was committed. She got dressed by herself.

She proceeded to the front door. 

I asked her if she had a plan or money. She had neither. 

I told her she would need a plan and money. 

Motor Mouth volunteered to give her some of his money.

Please tell me the Nemo in the background is not lost on you.

He gave her coins & 2-$1 bills.

But not the $5 bills because he is saving up for something.

Mini Me got to the elevator lobby. 

She said she was going to Canada. 

She was certainly dressed for it! 

I told her to come back and get her passport.

I called Papa Martian (godfather) so he could talk some sense into her. 

That didn't go as planned. 

Mini Me got it in her head that she was taking Amtrak to St. Louis where Papa Martian would meet her. Mini Me handed me the phone. 

I heard the door close. I thought it was J coming home from work. 

Mini Me RAN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mini Me got down to the main level parking garage. She was on her way out! I brought her back upstairs. I told her I loved her and she was too young to run away. About then, J got home. We explained to her that she could not run away. 

Clearly, she was not happy with the message.

This morning, the kids and I played.  

There were no timeouts, no restrictions, no grounding, no swats. 

Not even a harsh voice. There was laughter. 

Of all the days to choose to runaway! 

It didn't make sense.

Baby Hole

I picked my 4 year old daughter up from day camp. We barely made it a block when Mini Me shared that a girl in her camp group "has a baby in her tummy and it's going to come out of her 'baby hole.'"

'baby hole'

Never, in my 40 years have I heard the crude term 'baby hole.' 

"Does your camp counselor have a baby in her tummy?" I asked.

"No. My friend is 5 years old. The baby is gonna come out of her baby hole." Again with the baby hole.

"Sweetie, 5 year olds can't have a baby in their tummy. Does her mommy have a baby in her tummy?"

"Nooooooo!! A baby is going to come out of her BABY HOLE!!!!"

"How old are you, Mini Me?" I asked.

"Five," she replied.

"Can you have a baby right now?" I inquired.

"No."

"Can YOU have a baby next year?"

"No."

"Okay, so your 5-year old friend can't have a baby either, Sweetie," I reasoned, praying the topic would change. And it did. Sort of. 

"How old can you be when a baby comes out your baby hole, Mommy?"

"20." Look, she's been fascinated with child birth since she accidentally saw a delivery on TV a few months back. If I tell her 12, that could be her goal.

"Can you have a baby out of your baby hole at 100???"

"No, Silly, you can't."

"Yes, you can!" she insisted.

"Mini Me, ladies who are 100 are too old to have babies."

"YES!!!!!!! You CAN have a baby out of your baby hole at 100!!!!!!"

"Don't yell at me. No, 100 year old women cannot have babies."

"Why not, Mom? Why can't 100 year olds have a baby out of their baby hole?" my 7-yr old son asked.

At about this point I want to shake the kid who told my daughter about baby holes.

"100-year old women are too old to have babies."

"But WHY, Mom?" he wouldn't give up.

"Because by then, their baby hole has dried up." I was really done with this baby hole business.

"Mommy? Did you have a baby out of your baby hole?" Mini Me asked.

"No. Mommy does not use her baby hole, do you, Mom?" Motor Mouth answered.

"Ahhh...Ahhh..." I was not sure how to answer.

"Mommy doesn't use her baby hole, Mini Me. KK and TT had babies out of their baby holes and that is how come Mommy has you and me. Right, Mom?" 

"Yeah, Motor Mouth, that's pretty much how it happened."
I wonder if a c-section counts as a 'baby hole'.

Thankful Thursday - 3 Musketeers

Two of my best friends came to me as a result of hurt and pain suffered in my life and in theirs. Michy Mee, Boobalicious, and I are adoptive moms who met through the adoption agency. If we had not suffered the loss of infertility and the joy of adoption, we never would have met.

My first memory of Boobalicious was at the restaurant the day we met Motor Mouth's Birth Mom. She helped to facilitate the meeting and immediately set us all at ease with her laughter and funny banter. Boobalicious became my go-to person for all sorts of adoption-related and mommy questions. The best gift she gave me was sharing her daughter's breast milk with Mini Me. Now THAT is a friend!!

My most vivid memory of Michy Mee was when she came to our home to deliver meals after Mini Me was born. Michy Mee walked in with multiple dishes of amazing food, set them down, put out her hands and said, "Hand that baby over to me." She then proceeded to love on my daughter as if she were her very own.  Michy Mee started that adoptive family meal program. Later, we were co-chairs on an incredible fundraising banquet that raised boatloads of cash for the adoption agency!!

Of course, I'll never forget my going away dinner and our little shopping trip afterwards. All 3 of us scored big time that night!! It's time for another shopping excursion...

I really love these ladies. We all get 'it'. We understand each other's emotional journey. We were there along the way. The 3 of us are smart, strong, funny, capable women who tell it like it is. No, there is never a dull moment when we are all together and no, you won't get a word in edgewise. But I guarantee you lots of laughs.

We've been there for each other in good times and bad times. There have been times when we weren't talking to each other but we have always picked right up and continued on. We have each other's backs. Recently, we came through our latest fire together and we are as strong as ever.

This fall, the 3 Musketeers are embarking on Chicago.
We are gonna tear this town up!!!

Wordless Wednesday - Stolen Hat

End of an Era - GCS

Motor Mouth's first school in Tulsa is closing it's doors after 32 incredible years. This was a private Christian school set on a beautiful and sprawling campus which once served 700 students in grades K4 through 12. Academically, this school was top notch and won competitions every year. Graduates of this private school went on to college and many are successful business owners and professionals who had, in turn, sent their children to the school. 

I knew most of the teachers as I had been on staff at the church the school shared a campus with. I knew of many of the students as I had attended church with their parents or rocked them to sleep in the nursery on a Sunday morning. So it hurts me to know that these great people are out of a school for their children and out of jobs. It's hard to fathom that this once formidable institution is just, over. No more alumni games, no more homecoming. No more children laughing and playing on the playground or walking up and down the halls or having P.E. in the gym during the day. 

Of course the school will live on in the hearts and memories of the many who attended. But as a parent who once thought her children would form lifelong bonds with fellow students and would graduate from this school, it's hard to take. There was a public school almost literally in our backyard that we did not know the name of because we never planned to send our children anywhere but to this school. 

For the past year, I've worked at a private Christian school in downtown Chicago. My job is to market/promote the school and increase enrollment. I know first hand how difficult it can be to think of creative ways to bring new families to your school. From time to time, I would think of how the school in Tulsa sometimes advertised by hanging huge banners on either side of one of their school buses and parked it on the front lawn where lots of cars drove by. That was genius. More than once, I wished we had a bus here!

My heart goes out to the pastor of our former church. I can't imagine the torment he went through in making (or approving) this decision. In addition to the families and teachers affected, his children are graduates of the high school and his 4 grandchildren were attending the school. It wasn't just about the financials for him.

As I was writing this, I came across this Alexander Graham Bell quote: "When one door closes, another one opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." So true! 

I was feeling really sad but I should celebrate 32 wonderful years of great memories and rich history. Celebrate an independent school being around for 32 year and all of the great that was accomplished. 

Celebrate great friends we made through the school, like Jennifer, a teacher, who gave me a scripture verse to stand on to believe we would have children. And Babette, another teacher who knew the exact thing to say to comfort me when I was going insane before Motor Mouth's arrival. And the teachers and administration who cried tears of joy with us when we brought Motor Mouth to staff devotions 2 days after he was born. 

I will always remember Motor Mouth's very first day of school ever. And the great friends he made - like Gabriel who traveled with his family to visit us in Chicago last year. I don't think I'll soon forget me volunteering to read a story to Motor Mouth's class and their parents at the class Christmas party - which turned out to be the longest storybook ever written!! Hahaha! 

Congratulations Grace Christian School on 32 years of teaching children to love God, treat others with gentleness and kindness, to give to their community, to be good stewards, and for providing academic excellence.

The Madness I Endure

A snippet of my madness. 

The madness I endure from Widney Woman on Vimeo.

Important Sunscreen Information

Our son Motor Mouth has a sun sensitivity - or sun allergy as we refer to it. When exposed to the sun, Motor Mouth's skin becomes itchy and swells. To my son, it feels like he is burning from the inside out. Naturally, we are diligent to apply sunscreen. I thought we had a good sunscreen product from Whole Foods until I went to the  Environmental Working Group's website and saw this list of the 2010 Best Beach & Sport Sunscreens. 

The site states: "Our top-rated sunscreens all contain the minerals zinc or titanium. They are the right choice for people who are looking for the best UVA protection without any sunscreen chemical considered to be a potential hormone disruptor. None of the products contain oxybenzone or vitamin A and none are sprayed or powdered." Of these, they gave each sunscreen a rating from 0-2 Recommended, 3-6 Caution, or 7-10 Avoid. 

The sunscreen I had purchased was rated a 5. I went back to Whole Foods and purchased Badger, which is rated at a 1.  At $15.99 for 2.9 oz, I call it 'summer gold'. But when you consider a doctor's visit is $20-25, it is really inexpensive. So I bought 2. I'm testing it out to see how my boy does. I'll keep you posted. 

In the meantime, I recommend you read this article on sunscreens that they don't tell us about. I found it through my Twitter Friend JasonSimone. 

By all means, look 'em up.