Monday, March 31, 2014

Is My Boyfriend / Spouse / Partner Cheating?

I caught the tail end of Bethenny's talk show segment where men were talking about cheating. One man made a comment that has me ANGRY! He said: "If YOU THINK your partner is cheating on you, he ALREADY IS."

Are you kidding me? Really? Because you think it is so then it is so?! No. No, that is NOT so. Too often women (and some men) ruin an otherwise great relationship because of jealousy and insecurity.

I have a friend who is an amazing man. Let's call him....Mike. Mike fell completely in love. How in love? He switched jobs and moved to another city three states away from ALL of his friends, family, and children JUST to be closer to his girlfriend. Let's call her Rosie.

A few months in, Rosie started saying she thought he was cheating on her. He assured her he loved her and was not cheating on him b/c he was NOT cheating on her. Mike was so in love w/Rosie all he did was talk about how great she was and how happy he was with her. Ad nauseum.

Mike went to work and straight home. Otherwise, they were together. Mike had no friends or family in this new city he recently moved to. He was supporting Rosie and her kids as she had lost her job.

For months of this relationship, Rosie accused Mike of cheating. Mike stopped calling, texting and emailing all of his friends and drastically reduced how often he communicated with his MOTHER and siblings. Nothing was enough for this woman.

I wondered what he would tell me if a man I was dating became so possessive of me and through his extreme, unwarranted jealousy managed to get me to cut off myself from everyone who loved me.

In the end, it was her insane jealousy and false accusations of cheating that did the relationship in. She kicked him out b/c she couldn't trust him. Turns out she was just testing him. That weekend, Rosie begged Mike to return. Begged. Too late. Good God, Women! If you want your man to stay then don't kick him out!!!

Rosie lost a good man b/c she couldn't trust a man. Any man. If you can't trust a man that spends all of his free time with you, is not on the phone when with you and gives up his established life to move to your city to be with you, then YOU have a problem.

Let this be a lesson to you. If you THINK your partner is cheating but you have no proof, other than your "hunch" then hold off. Get proof or evaluate whether you are transferring a past love's mistakes on your new love. Or maybe, it's your guilty conscience b/c you were the cheater all along.....

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