Without planning it, I began a little mini-bloggeries on our kids' birth moms. Can't talk about the birth moms without mentioning the birth fathers!
Well, okay. I can not mention anything about Motor Mouth's birth father because we don't know who he is or what his name is or anything about him. Other than he is part white and part hispanic or maybe part black. Fortunately, Mini Me's birth father, JJ, has graciously agreed to be Motor Mouth's birth father as well.
We've never met JJ in person. JJ is in prison. Don't knock prison! It can be a good thing. I know where he is and we send letters back and forth. Well, not so much lately. I owe him a Christmas letter. And more pictures. JJ and Mini Me met in February/March when his mom took Mini Me with her to visit him. We have a photo of them together!!! As I said in yesterday's post - I love prison. Without prison, I don't know for sure if JJ would be a part of our lives.
But that is okay, because we have JJ's parents and brothers. We love JJ's family. They are all great people. You can't pick your in-laws, but if I had to pick, I would pick them. And their friend, Fish.
The thing about JJ's family is that we actually have a birth family. Not just a birth mother. A birth family. There are grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles, aunts, great-uncles, great-aunts, cousins, 2nd cousins. Family. A Whole New Family.
The hardest part of JJ's family is managing the whole divorce situation. I've read and heard that you have to be fair to both sides. Equal visit time. Send/give same pictures and info. Coming from families that are intact, this is a whole new world for us. I'm trying to navigate it. I'm sure I've screwed up at times and I'm sure I'll screw up in the future. But I do love both sides.
They are great people. They treat Motor Mouth as their own. You can't really tell there is a difference. I'm sure it helped that Motor Mouth could actually talk and interact with them, while Mini Me was too little to do much of anything.
Mini Me has her birth Grandpa's eyes. She looks just like her birth father did in his baby pictures. I know this because her birth Grandmother showed us pictures. There is one picture where she is holding JJ, and it looked exactly like Mini Me. Exactly. Her birth Grandpa's wife showed us pictures from when JJ was older and they were on trips. I love how much JJ's step mother loves him. She always says good things about him and there is a twinkle in her eye when she shows his childhood pictures. She is always positive and that is nice.
Then there are the brothers. I've only met 2/3 of JJ's brothers. One of them lives out-of-state. He hasn't been home in the time we've known the family. Of the brothers I have met, they are both great. 2008 was a big year for the boys - 1 bought and renovated a house (he did a great job) and 1 has a new baby girl (tiny and beautiful)!!!
We didn't have to include JJ or his family. The adoption agency would have been fine if we didn't. But we knew there was this grandmother out there that had a granddaughter. That grandmother deserved to know her son's birth child. So we set out to find her. And we did. I'm glad we did because she is special to us. We found JJ. And the rest, is history!!
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