Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Our Adoption Story - Part 6: Meeting Mini Me

We have been asked to share our adoption story.
In a multi-part series, I will share our experiences. I hope our story helps you, someone you know, or helps you to understand the experiences and emotional journey of someone you love.

Click on the links to view:

We tried for 2 years before learning we were infertile.
J was not open to adoption. Then he was.
We met our son's birth mother.
We met our son.
A year of emotional disappointments ensued.

Our Adoption Story - Part 6: Meeting Mini Me

In February of 2006, we had the money we needed to pay for the adoption. Then we got a big tax bill. As soon as I opened the letter and read the shocking details, I called J and said, "We're getting a baby!!!" J asked if the agency director had called. I told him no, but we had the money and we got hit with this crazy bill, so that means us getting a baby is right round the corner!!! Murphy's law.

On Saturday, March 18th, 2006, the adoption agency director called to tell me about a birth mother who was due in June that would be a great match for us. She was having a little girl. How perfect was that!!

Not so perfect. By Monday at lunch, J and I were beside ourselves! The nursery was ready for a baby. What were we going to do for 3 months!! How on earth do people wait for 9 months to give birth? That is an insane amount of time to wait.

On Monday, March 20th, at approximately 5:10 pm, I received a phone call from the agency director. There was a birth mom at the hospital who wanted to place her baby for adoption. The baby had been born that afternoon at 2:01 pm. The birth mom was what we refer to as 'a drop in'. That means, she got to the hospital, gave birth, and told the hospital staff she wanted to place her baby for adoption. The agency director told us to standby. We might need to go to the hospital that night to meet the birth mom and the baby. But she had not told her boyfriend's family they were placing the baby, so they wanted to have the evening to tell them.

The next morning, I got a phone call asking if I could meet the agency director at the hospital that morning. I called her back to ask how big the baby was to make sure the clothes I had would fit. It was then I thought to ask if it was a boy or a girl. It was a girl!! It was still early, so I went to Wal-Mart to buy PINK!!!! We had neutral clothes already...But it was a GIRL!! I HAD to buy PINK!

J was shooting a TV show that morning, so he couldn't come to the hospital with me right then. The agency director, her assistant, and I went into the room together to meet the birth mom. 

When we walked in, TT, the birth mom, was sitting on a cot in her room, holding Mini Me. Next to her, was ML, who helped to facilitate the adoption. TT is about my complexion, and could pass for my sister, or certainly a family member. We talked briefly, then she introduced me to Mini Me and placed her in my arms.

Mini Me was THE most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on. C-section babies don't get squished, so their complexion and heads are just perfect. Plus, I met her when she was about 19 hours old. Truly, she was beautiful. I do not regret or miss not being in the delivery room. 

TT asked me if I liked the baby. "Like her?" I said, "I LOVE her!!" TT was very relieved that I loved the baby. She was honestly afraid I wouldn't. This was my baby. The other babies over the previous year, they weren't my babies. This was. And I loved her. J managed to wrap early and was there within the hour to meet his daughter.

When we met Mini Me, her first name was Michaela, after TT's boyfriend (not to be confused as being the birth father). And, amazingly enough, her middle name was the SAME as my first name!! How insanely coincidental is that! I had chosen Mini Me's first name a couple years before. We added my first name as that is what the birth mother had chosen. Her second middle name is Faith, after Faith Bond, who used to be our pastor's secretary. Faith is a strong woman of God who I admire greatly.

Mini Me was born at a different hospital that is not as adoption friendly. We did not have our own room. In fact, we didn't get to spend either night in the hospital with her - she had to stay longer as she was c-section. When we brought our baby girl home, J decided she needed a pink room. He set out to re-do the completely finished nursery into pink on pink harlequin patterned walls with black ribbon and fleur de lis, and chandeliers. 

Mini Me was born on Monday. We had been planning a big birthday party for Motor Mouth that Friday. It was an INSANE week! Imagine finding out you now have a newborn, bringing her home, meeting with the attorney and doing all the adoption related stuff, then getting all you need for an all out birthday party the next day! My sister said I MUST have known about Mini Me before that. Ugh...nope. If I had, there is no way I would have planned a birthday party for that same week!

Both Mini Me and Motor Mouth were dedicated at our church on the Mother's Day of the year they were born. How awesome is that!

Leaving the hospital that first night, J said, "There is a grandmother out there that doesn't know she has a granddaughter. We need to find her."  And we did. We have great relationships with Mini Me's paternal grandmother and her paternal grandfather and his wife. We love her uncles that we have met. We've also met her great grandparents. Mini Me has met her birth father. Sadly, we have not been able to yet, but we have a lifetime. We'll meet one day. In the meantime, we communicate via letters and pictures. Her birth father could be J's brother. That is how much they look alike.

We have a relationship with TT, as well. For about a year, we got to see TT every other month or so. Then, she disappeared. We are happy to report, TT is back in our lives and we are in phone contact. We'll make plans to see her again when next we visit Tulsa.

And that, in a nutshell is our adoption story. There is more, but you'll have to wait until the book comes out!!


Norma-ann at The Mommy Project said...

Amazing, amazing, amazing. The whole story was just incredible to read. I can't believe your daughter had ~already~ been given your name! I mean, what are the odds of that?? Kismet!!

Congratulations on it all and on your wonderful family. I'm really happy for you.

Felicity said...

Fun read. Thanks, Widney Woman!

Mabrie said...

You really should write a book! I'd SO buy it!

Anonymous said...

Wow! That was a lot of information and I processed it very quickly. I know what it's like to battle infertility. The first time I wanted to get pregnant and by the next month voila! The second time, miscarriage right away. Then four years of nothing. During that time, it seemed like every friend and family member got pregnant, some of them more than once! So I understand the myriad of emotion.

What amazes me is that God gave you two children who look like both of you! If someone had asked me, I would have told them that you eventually got pregnant...twice! I was wowed by the fact that Paris already had your name. God is cool like that!

Is it okay if I continue to make comments on facebook about how much they look like you guys even though I know the whole story?

I don't know who I think is more blessed, Paris & Jazz, or you two! By the way, what are their full names?

marigold said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm a birthmom in a "wide open" adoption and absolutely love feel-good adoption stories. Thanks for brightening my day!