I'm feeling scared and apprehensive. This homeschooling thing seemed so clear cut and wonderful two weeks ago. It gave me peace of mind for 1 week. Then I started to happen. The part of me that drives J insane happened. The part of me that had us impulsively shop for all new living room furniture years back. Then, when they approved us for the payment plan, freaked out, wondering how it was all going to work out. The part of me that had us purchase a home and then freak out when they approved us for the mortgage. The part that needs to go away.
I know you were shocked I wanted to homeschool. I was too. I thought it was the right thing to do. I felt at peace with it. But as it quickly approaches, I'm getting in my way. Right now, I feel like the little girl that was too shy to take swimming lessons so she never learned. I get gripped by fear sometimes and right now, I am scared.
I'm not scared that I won't be a good teacher. I've done lots of teaching and instructing and tutoring since I was 7 and helped my next door neighbor re-learn how to read English after 6 months in Italy.
I'm scared that we are going to be chained to schoolwork. That our Adventures of the 3 M's is over. That our Widney Wednesdays are going to be monthly and not weekly. That Family Friday is not going to happen anymore. That maybe I bit off more than I can chew.