How is Simone doing?

"How is Widney Woman doing?" That's the question our new pastor, Jaxn, asks J every few days. It is often followed by an inquiry as to what Jackson or the team can do to make our transition easier for me and the kids. So far, I haven't really 'needed' anything.

The team is great. They reimbursed us for our moving expenses pretty quick, and they were okay with me and the kids not going to church on Sunday. And, they helped us move in to our place. How great was that?!

Today, I need to rest. I've been going non-stop for so many weeks and months. First it was getting the house ready for sale. Next, it was searching for a home for us and school for Motor Mouth in Chicago. Then, it was getting the house ready to move. This week, it has been getting the house livable. I had to admit to myself today that I just needed to rest.

I haven't allowed myself to rest. I feel like if J is working for our family, then I need to be working in the home as well. Only, I tend to be a workaholic so I don't take breaks or lunches and even after he comes home, I just go.

Today, my body said "No go, girlfriend!!" About half-way into the kids' nap, I laid on the couch and napped. When the kids woke up, I went in Motor Mouth's bed and continued my nap as they played in Motor Mouth's room. I was shocked when J called at 4:56 pm to tell me he was on his way home. I wasn't done resting...and the kids had been walking on my back - which felt great!

Part of me asks myself Jaxn's question every day. "Widney Woman, what do YOU need today?" Most days, I really don't know. Or I can't verbalize what I need. I think I need to get the boxes unpacked and everything in it's place. My personal goal is to accomplish this by Saturday night. But once this task is complete, I am lost. I don't know what my next 'task' or 'goal' should be. There is a lot I can think of that needs doing - including spending quality time with my children. In my head, next week is this big, open void. I'm not accustomed to voids. Somewhere in my circuitry, I think void=lazy=bad. Maybe, what I need, is a shrink to work this out with...

Friday April 25, 2008 - 12:01am