Sunday, April 27, 2014

Restroom Refuge

I read a blog post about a parent that found out her kindergarten aged son was having problems in school due to a newly diagnosed anxiety disorder. At some point in her story, she was locked in her bathroom with her laptop and wine when her daughter came racing in to tell her that the son was choking to death (under the father's supervision). For clarity, her bathroom has a vanity desk so she's not balancing her laptop on her lap while... And the boy was fine. So fine, he was able to clearly vocalize his fact.

The following comment was made: "I dunno, I'm not a parent, but if you're locking yourself in the bathroom with wine, for any reason, for any length of time, while a member of your family has just nearly choked, I'd say that in lay person's terms your family dynamic is just a bit stuffed. No wonder the kid is anxious."

To which I commented: "Trust me, as a parent, sometimes the only sanity we can get is to lock ourselves in our bathrooms with wine and let our families sort themselves out through natural selection or some other means by which we are able to have just a few moments of rational, adult, non-child, family or partner directed thought."

There are times when I literally lock myself in one of our three bathrooms and, well, hideout from my kids and husband. I'm sure when my kids get older they will laugh and make fun of how long Mom used to sit on the toilet!!! I'll be the first to admit that my legs have gone numb, revived and gone numb again. I have asked the kids: "Do I harass you when you are trying to poop?" Sometimes, I didn't even poop. I was just in the need of a quiet room in which to sit where interruptions were frowned upon. Often with the light off. Usually with my iPhone. It's my only chance at sanity before the kids' bedtime.

So, single people with no children, don't judge us parents. We do the best we can at the moment. Not every parenting moment is a shining star moment but it is what we can manage. Don't judge us for needing to slip away from our children for 10, 20, or 60 minutes. Some days we need a few minutes to recharge and get a fresh perspective. Or at the very least, a better attitude.

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