Friday, September 27, 2013

I Forgot Who I Am

I popped in to a fast food drive thru and lost myself by the time I drove off.

It was dinner time and I was doing my swim mom duty. I had just dropped off Kid A at one pool and made a pit stop on my way to pick up Kid B at another pool.

I finally made it to the final drive thru window. I had food in hand when the woman in the car in front of me stopped and backed up. I honked her gently as she was getting close to my car and I needed to pull off.

I looked at the clock and saw that I only had 3 minutes to get Kid B in Friday rush hour traffic.

The woman got out of her car. I nicely told the woman she can't park there as there was a long line. She walked to the window and apologized, saying she had to get something for her order.

There were TWO drive thru waiting parking spots open. She should have pulled in there. Instead, she caused 10 cars to wait on her.

I lost my mind.

I yelled at her that I have to pick up my daughter and to move her car. She ignored me. I honked my little Japanese car horn (American car horns are much more aggressive and beefy sounding). Ignored me.

The car behind me backed up. As I backed up I clearly informed her of how insensitive she was being in fluent Truck Driver.

Then I laid on my little Japanese horn as I drove around her.

I forgot who I was in the moment.

I forgot that I am an admissions director whose face is well-known because I meet hundreds of people in that area each year.

I forgot that I am the wife of a man who has been well-recognized in our city for the last five years.

I forgot that I am the wife of a director at a church.

I forgot that people often recognize me and call me by name in our city.

I forgot that I am a Christian.

I forgot who I am when I became that raving lunatic for a minute.

I am going to take full responsibility for my words and actions. I was wrong. I was out of control. I am sorry I embarrassed myself, my family, my God. It is never okay to act like a crazy person.

I hope that I remember how this feels right now the next time I am tempted to go off on someone.

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