Friday, November 26, 2010

Adoption Update

We LOVE hearing how our experiences have impacted other people's lives. Truly, I believe that we experience hardships in life for our own growth experiences but to help others and to be a resource or inspiration.

Recently, we received an email from a friend of J's. She had read through our Adoption Story and bawled the entire time. Hopefully she found a few points of laughter too. But she had questions. So I'm going to update:

When is the book coming out?
For right now, this blog is my book. What you see on my blog is pretty much what I have time to write in my current life. I do have a partial mock up but it needs a LOT of work.

Will you ever adopt again?
- No. We have 2 children and we are done. J and I never wanted more than 2 children.

Did you ever find KK? Do you still have a relationship with her?
I don't know that KK was ever 'lost'. Things and transitions were happening in KK's life for a few years and we moved out-of-state so some natural distance was created. But it's like a relationship you have that goes through periods of extreme closeness then not so close but the love is still there.

KK and I have been Facebook friends for awhile but KK finally kicked it up a notch recently. Now, we communicate a couple times each week on FB. A few weeks back, we chatted on FB for hours - I'm thinking 4 hours but don't quote me.

KK has always been a proponent of open adoption. When she was 16, she lived in a home with other pregnant teens. They were keeping their children and some told her she was wrong to place her child. At 16, our little hero stood up for her decision. 7.5 years later, a married, 24-year old mother-of-three girls, KK said she wasn't sure if when she would regret her decision when she was older but recently told me that she has no regrets.

Does TT still come around?
TT never 'came around'. Our relationship with TT is deepest when she is incarcerated. This is why I have come to love prison. During some of the first two years of Mini Me's life, we would travel 90 minutes each way monthly to visit TT in prison with Mini Me. When TT is out, we seldom hear from her.

TT had been in prison again this year but got out last month. I had been writing letters and postcards to her. Before I send each note, I check the prison system to make sure she is in the same facility. Except this time, she wasn't in a new facility. She is out.

From what I have researched on TT, she appears to have drug related issues when on the outside. We don't talk about those issues when we see TT. All I care about is being with her at that moment, remembering as much as possible so I can share with Mini Me.

Info on the rest of the family
JJ is Mini Me's birth father. He is still in prison. I check before sending him mail. He has been moved to a new facility. Typically, there is a wait period when they move to a new facility before we will hear from him again.

Birth grandparents. TT's step-dad passed away this past year. JJ's grandfather passed away this past year. Thanks to the miracle of open adoption, Mini Me met them both and has photos with them.  That alone makes open adoption perfect, if you ask me.

The kids get correspondence from Mini Me's birth grandparents and see them when in Tulsa. Her birth grandparents, uncles, etc. are pretty great people that we absolutely love and adore. They say you can't pick your family, but sometimes you kinda can and we got lucky. I owe them all pictures. I should get off the net and go do that right now.

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