Monday, September 29, 2008

Everything Is So Hard

I'm starting to get weary. Everything is just so much harder when you move to a new city. Especially a big new city. And it gets magnified when you have kids in tow.

When I moved to Tulsa, it was hard. But I had my mother-in-law (MIL) to guide me. I didn't have to think about where to shop for groceries. We lived with my in-laws so I just went along with my MIL. There was a mall, so that was where I shopped. It's a small city, so parking was ample - and free! When I needed a doctor or dentist, I just went to who my MIL went to. We were on the same insurance. 

When it came time to get a job, I didn't have to worry about who was going to watch my kids while I went for an interview. Or what jobs could I get to work around my husband's schedule. And what about when he has to work on his days off - who will watch the kids then?

Thanks to my in-laws, I never had to worry about childcare. Period. If the MIL couldn't do it, there was the FIL or one of my 2 sisters-in-law, or the kids' godparents, or their birth grandparents. Or a friend. Or a friend's daughter. I don't have these options here. And childcare is outrageously expensive (not as bad as New York, though).

Example One:
We all need fall and winter clothing. I didn't have the first clue as to where to shop for this stuff at reasonable rates that would give us truly warm clothing - not just fashionable freeze your butt off clothing. I've dragged the kids to at least 10 stores and we still don't have half of what we need. On top of that, J didn't like what I got the kids, so I have/had to return it and search more.

Example Two:
For groceries, I go to 3 different stores. One for fruits and vegetables, another for dry goods and milk, and a third for bulk items. They are all a 20-30 minute drive from our home, so it sucks that I forgot to get several items from 2 of the stores this weekend.

Example Three:
We knew I was going to need a part-time job in the fall. Fall is here. It's a good thing I didn't have a job with weekend ours in September, because between J being sick, recovering, making up for being sick, and a conference at church, either I would have been fired for not being able to work, or I might have been paying a babysitter what I would have been earning after taxes and travel.

I LOVE living in Chicago. I don't regret our move one bit. On my bad days, I am happier than when we lived in Tulsa. Right now, I'm feeling so overwhelmed with finding a part-time job, caring for the kids, homeschooling, and everything else.


Shan said...

I think you're amazing for making such a huge move. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is hard, but you will make it. AND you are!

ps: I am sure your selection of clothes were good.

Norma-ann at The Mommy Project said...

It is very hard trying to juggle jobs and kiddos - let alone do it in a new town and so far away from family!

Hang in there, Simone! I'm sure you will manage everything as well as you always have. :) You are very brave!

Anonymous said...

one thing to consider is all the extra money it takes to plan and carry out those weekly productions that seem to add an extra expense....especially when others are invited over. This alone could probably save you from HAVING to get a part time job :)

Widney Woman said...

In response to Anonymous on "Weekly productions that add extra expense...especially when others are invited over."

Let's see....

How many Widney Wednesdays have we had? 14.

How many times have we had guests for Widney Wednesdays? 4

At what cost was it for those guests?
1. Ice Cream Sundaes = $10.
2. Pirates = $6
3. Christmas in July = $22
4. Chicago (in Tulsa) = $0 as Jason's parents bought the pizza, not us.

I don't go out and BUY things for Widney Wednesday. I use things I already have in the house.

Shaina said...

I will watch your kids. If you get a job they can come here. Next time you venture out for clothes, drop them off here. You and Jason need a date, drop them by. I'm a phone call away and always willing unless I have something already planned (which is a very rare happening). And by a phone call I mean I literally need about 15 minutes notice.