Before and After

THIS is what my husband does. He transforms church interiors with custom work and signature design. This is what he keeps him up late at night and this is what he has traveled the country to teach at seminars and conferences.

Widney Conduit Cross

I made this!!! It's a Widney original design conduit cross. J began creating crosses using conduit 5 years ago. The Conduit Cross has become one of his signature designs. It's been used in churches all across the nation.

Tonight, I, Widney Woman, made a Widney Conduit Cross!!! This is a small one at almost 7 ft tall - Mini Me is 4-ft tall.

Where I Belong

I'm in church. But I'm a media wife so my place of comfort is with the audio and video guys. I'm most comfortable in the sound booth, the video suite or behind a TV video camera. So tonight, on the night my husband's new set design goes live, I am where I belong. In the video suite with him.

Whatever, Dude!

On the left, I am sitting on the couch, taking a self portrait. On the right, J is taking a photo of me taking a photo of myself. Very. Funny. ;-)

Wreck It Ralph Costume

Motor Mouth wanted to be Wreck It Ralph for Halloween. Except...There are NO Wreck It Ralph costumes! The movie isn't even in theaters yet.

Motor Mouth emailed me a pic of Wreck It Ralph. Then he kept asking if we finished his costume. I told him that "Daddy and I GOT this." Then we'd look at each other and whisper "We don't have this, do we?"

J to the rescue!!! J found these two shirts at a thrift store for maybe $4 total. The brown fabric is from JoAnne Fabrics, maybe $14 total.

I crawled into bed at about midnight the night before Motor Mouth needed his costume for a party. J had been asleep and woke up then.

When I woke up the next morning, J had sewed these overalls without a pattern! Look at the detail! It was MAYBE his third time using a sewing machine.

I'm pretty proud of my man. The smile on Motor Mouth's face said it all.

FYI...J cut the neck of the orange shirt to make the v-shape. You can make this with an overalls pattern or buy a white pair of overalls and dye them brown with RIT dye.  Good luck!

I'm Married to a Criminal

Ever watch Criminal Minds?

J would be referred to as an 'Unsub'

(Unknown Subject/Assailant)

Looks like the Unabomber.

Hold your purses close.

An Anniversary - January 17

On January 17, 2008, J was laid off from his job doing media arts for a church in Tulsa. This was the church Jason grew up in. The security officer that escorted J out of the building had been J's Sunday school teacher as a kid.  The pastor who told him he was being laid off was the father of one of J's best friends as a teenager. It felt personal.

For about a year, it was obvious that church's attendance was declining rapidly. I told J that he needed to look for another job and to leave. I said, "The church is declining. They are going to get rid of the fluff first. You are the fluff." Even though I wanted J to leave and had predicted the lay off, it was still a hard blow. I cried harder that day than I had ever cried before. That day was the beginning of an extremely difficult and painful time in our lives. It was one of my darkest periods ever.

That was also the day that our friend, Starr, left the same church. She put in her resignation the same day J was laid off. They told her to leave by the end of that day and she was out! A week later, we met Starr and her family at The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate.

What we did not know at The Cheesecake Factory that day was how wonderful our lives would be and how January 17, 2008 would be one of the very best days because of the possibilities it opened. We love living in Chicago and it has been the most amazing 3 years for us. Starr is currently working for a large, healthy, progressive church in Tulsa and happier than I've ever known her to be.

Happy 3rd Anniversary J & Starr!

Like Retirement, Only Different

J no longer works for a church. This is monumental in our lives. I've known J since 1995. He has been working for churches for pretty much our entire relationship. The night we met, J had been working on a Christmas production at his church. There were a few months here and there where he didn't work for a church. Like when he worked for his father and volunteered at a church. Or that pesky little lay off situation of '08.

I am excited about J not working for a church. Don't get me wrong. Churches have been good for J for many reasons including being diverse creative outlets for him. But now, I'm excited about the possibilities.

For the first time since having children, I won't be a single mom getting our kids ready for church alone. I will get to sit in a service with my husband and not worry that he will be called away to fix something. Or that I have to sit in the sound booth so I can be with my husband during service. I don't have to worry that my staff kids are behaving in children's church. (Like the time our staff kid bit a 1st time visitor child...that's how I came to love my Hero, PR).

We LOVE our church in Chicago. We love the leadership. We love the staff. We love the people. We love the teaching. We love the kids' ministry. We love the free, covered parking in the winter for families! J's position at Park has been wonderful for his career and for our family. An opportunity presented itself that will enable J to utilize his creative talents in additional areas. J is leaving staff, not the church. In fact, J is volunteering at our church for a few weeks during the transition.

The first thing people asked when they heard J was leaving was: "Will you be leaving the church?" Heck no! One has nothing to do with the other. Park is our church home and, as I said, we are in love with the place. We do want to check out other churches in Chicago but not because we are unhappy. We moved here and for 2.5 years, Park was the only church we attended or visited. we could have visited other churches - we didn't. Haha! We have lots of new church pastor and leader friends so I'm sure we will visit other area churches from time to time. You know, to confirm that Park is best church in Chicago for our family.

I'm pretty excited that very soon, J and I will be able to sleep in on a Sunday and NOT go to church!! Guilt free. And we will have a weekend as a family!! What does THAT feel like? I have not had this for almost 8 years!! My kids have never experienced what so many families take for granted - a full weekend of family time.

It's refreshing and weird all at the same time. I'm wondering if it will be like when husbands retire. The wives get tired of the men being around and wish they were working. I'm gaining a weekend husband but I'm losing my Sundays alone.

Cream of Wheat

I'm so excited!!!!

J is an artist. One of his ancestors was too.

Needless to say, it made sense to gave him a copy of this 

artwork created by Gustavus C. Widney.

I love my husband

My Man

I love this man.

I do. I just really, really do.

It's not father's day. It's not his birthday. Not our anniversary. Not an anniversary of anything (maybe it is but I am not the type to remember anniversaries).

I'm just sitting here, next to this amazing, wonderful man that I get to call my very own and I feel love for him. Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, "God, I love this man (or woman)!!" and then feel the love well up inside you?

We are not talking. We are just being together. He is on his laptop and I am on mine. There is nowhere I would rather be than right next to him. Yes, we've done separate vacations and we do our own thing from time to time, and sometimes I get so mad at him, I could scream (sometimes, I do) but ultimately, J is my very best friend and I can't imagine life without him.

Every now and then, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had chosen this path or that path. I haven't done it with J, but if I were to do a pros and cons list, I'm sure the pros side would be pages and pages while the cons side would be 1/8th of a page. Ultimately, even with the icky life stuff we've been through, I am glad that I am married to my best friend and that he loves me - or at least really likes me (most of the time).

Survival Skills for a Production Wife

I met J Widney at 1:00 am when he was crashing at his aunt’s house after volunteering all day for a Christmas production at his church. We soon became best friends. I subsequently worked alongside J on several productions and projects. In fact, 3-1/2 years later, my "marriage proposal" was cut short because J had to get back to a graduation production he was working on.

Knowing all of that, I still wasn’t prepared to be a ‘Production Wife’. When J and I married, he worked full-time for his dad. It was a great gig – no late nights, no weekends. Within a year, J was on staff at our church. We both were. And it was fine. We didn’t have kids so working late at night was easy.

I liked hanging out at the church with J and the guys. I quickly became the designated production wife who took care of getting meals for the guys. I would take everyone’s orders, pick up the food and setup the table. Then I’d clean up after them. Usually, I stuck around reading or doing work in my office. Basically, I hung out and avoided being home alone for hours on end. I’m pretty good at sleeping stretched out on a row of chairs.

It should be mentioned that I am not a cook. A more domesticated production wife would have fixed home cooked meals for the guys. In fact, the senior production wife (of J's boss) did this a number of times. I did what I was capable of doing.

I couldn’t help J as I didn’t know anything about lighting or sound or set design or videos. I was pretty good at giving my opinion. Still am, really. Sometimes, I was able to unpack par cans (basic stage lights) or untangle strings of Christmas lights. And I could tell if something was centered or not.

Sitting in conversations with guys talking shop was not fun when I didn’t know what they meant. So I started reading Lighting Dimensions, Church Communications and other trade magazines. Jason kept them in our master bathroom so it wasn’t like I was wasting time reading. Soon, I found myself understanding the conversations and able to ask not so dumb questions. It made me feel more connected to my husband and his world. Dinners with the guys became more fun too!

And I did listen to what the guys were saying. I’ll never forget the first time I commented that a song sounded ‘open’. J and his boss stopped and stared at me. I was right and they were shocked. It made me want to learn more about their world of sound.

Another thing I did to draw us closer was to volunteer in the sound booth with J. I started running the words for songs and putting up slides, starting videos. Then one day, a camera guy didn’t show up. I ran camera and loved it!! Soon, I was on the rotation. I’m Miss Organization, so it was natural to be stage manager for a couple of productions. So much fun!! For the most part, it was a great experience. And I got some cool things to add to my resume. More importantly, it drew J and I closer together. It showed that I had an interest in his life and career.

Then our son was born. At first, I just brought Motor Mouth with me. It did get a bit crazy when I realized I had to get a baby carrier, 4 large pizzas, 3 bottles of pop, cups, plates, and napkins in the church building. In the snow. Uphill. When Motor Mouth became mobile, I stayed home more. I would bring Motor Mouth by the church so J could spend a few minutes with his son. And so we could see the progress being made.

When our daughter was born 3 years later, it was increasingly difficult to attend church on a regular basis, much less commit to volunteering or spending hours hanging out in the church auditorium late at night. I had to stop being the designated production wife. That’s when I transitioned to ‘Production Widow’.

Suddenly, I found myself as a single mom that happened to be married. It was hard at first and hard not to resent my husband’s career choice. Fortunately, I had family and friends to hang out with. And, with the busyness that comes with being a mom, I started to really enjoy the solitude after the kids went to bed and it was just me.

When we moved to Chicago, I found myself alone. No family. New friends, but no developed relationships. J hit the ground running when he started. The new church building opened 3 months after our arrival. I was lonely. That summer, I drove to visit my family in Canada 3 times. Just me and the kids.

Production husbands might miss out on important events in their kids lives - like their daughter's first tap or ballet class. In his defense, J was very purposeful about his Friday day off. It became Family Friday. We went to a different museum every Friday. Often, J would take the kids to do something fun and let me have hours of me time. I implemented Widney Wednesday, a themed family night. We created family moments and memories when we could. Our pastor was amazing and always asked how I was doing. If I wasn't okay, I knew he had our backs.

During that season, I learned that I needed to get busy. I started homeschooling our son, put both kids in swimming, put our son in Awana, karate and baseball and our daughter in tap and ballet. I took a couple writers workshop classes then learned to crochet. Before I knew it, I was so busy, I didn’t even notice J wasn’t home. And I didn’t mind because I had my own thing going.

Sometimes, the kids and I hang out in the Green Room or the Parent Room, watching movies, napping, reading, playing. We are just down the hall from J and it feels like family time. J walks over every hour or so to check on us and get hugs. We get visits from staff, too. Our kids have become everyone’s kids. They know most everyone on staff and have developed special relationships with many. (Like Uncle Schraeder below)

In this newest season of our lives, our kids are now old enough to go to church with J and run around the auditorium. It is their playground. They get excited when they hear they are going to church because it might mean they get to watch a movie on the big screen or the back wall of the stage. Motor Mouth has played Wii on the wall of the auditorium. How cool is that?!

I don’t have as much time these days to read every trade magazine. But I do skim them and ask questions. When we go somewhere with production value, I get an earful and I ask questions about how things were done. I read every one of J’s blog entries and I follow most of the trades people J follows on Twitter. I attend all the conferences I can with J so I can understand his world. Daily, I am in awe of the level of creativity that flows from my husband. I wish I had a pinky worth of his creativity. In the meantime, I’m learning, interested, and engaged.

And now, our kids are pretty skilled at falling asleep on a row of chairs in church, too!

Darkness Overcoming Beauty

The darkness of fear overtaking

the power of beauty

The latest painting by my incredibly talented husband.

As Promised...

I promised I would give you a link when my husband posts more of his greatness. And he has. He comes up with such simply yet amazing ideas. This is why people ask him to consult with them and fly him across the country to talk about what he does. Innovative yet cost effective. Click here.

@jasonwidney

I'm so proud of the work my husband does. Please go check out his site to see what he did for the Cultivate conference last week. Then plan to check back in a few days to see what he did at church on Sunday. I can't be modest when it comes to J. His mad skills make being his loudest cheerleader easy.