First Day of School 2014

Michigan Ave with our 6th and 3rd graders!
August 2014

At What Age?

I was going through my Drafts when I came across this draft post from June 2010. It was started because I read someone's blog post asking if parents would leaving kids in a hotel room alone. Here is my response. I'm going to give an update at the bottom....

Personally, no, I would not leave my kids alone in a hotel room. I don't like leaving my stuff in a hotel room, much less my babies!! My kids are 7 and 4 though. When they are 12 and 9, I'm sure I would be okay going to the pool or something for less than an hour while they sleep. I know some hotels we've been to offer babysitting services. I'm sure it's fine but to me, it seems like asking someone to molest my kids.

At Home

A handful of times, I have left the kids in the condo while I ran down the 4 stories to the parking garage to bring up the rest of the groceries or to throw out some trash. Usually this was because Mini Me had fallen asleep and it was that or let my frozen foods thaw for 2 hours.

Ultimately, depending upon what state we are in would determine what age I leave my kids alone for an extended period of time. I have no fear that my kids won't be mature enough to be alone and not get into anything crazy or kill each other. They are good kids and we teach them to be independent whenever possible.

I've been training the kids to be independent. Motor Mouth likes to run up the stairs to try to beat us in the elevator. That is a step in the direction of independence. It's little baby steps that I will help them take to ensure they are ready when the time comes.

Update
While a lot has changed in the children's sense of independence, not much has changed about leaving them home alone in three years. Motor Mouth is 10 now. Mini Me is 7. Both Motor Mouth and Mini Me would race us up the stairs at the condo building. I became more comfortable with the kids being in the loft while I ran down to the car or to the mailbox. I started letting the kids go down to meet friends coming to the building.

I checked our state laws. Motor Mouth can stay home with Mini Me alone for short periods of time. So if I needed to run out for less than 20 minutes to drop J at work at 5:30 am so we could have the car or pick J up from the L station at 11:30 pm. The kids have iPods now so they could text us if there is a problem. In fact, we are in regular contact when they are home with a babysitter. There were times I gave a neighbor the baby monitor to listen for the kids if they woke up when J and I were out past their bedtime. Usually, when the kids had a babysitter or a neighbor on monitor, we had the kids sleep in the same bedroom. You can't be too safe.

Never have I ever left the kids home alone to fend for themselves for more than 30 minutes. Nor will I any time soon. We will see what happens in 1-2 years. But for right now, I am with our kids 24/7. Literally - I still work at their school.  And for the record, I'm not a helicopter parent. I just feel that their safety is our priority and we do what we feel will keep our kids as safe as possible.

Raising Children with Character

Our kids live amazing lives. Just looking at this 3-year review is proof that they are lucky kids to dress cool and have cool hair and live in a cool city.

More than that, they have already had amazing experiences. The kids go to world class museums every few weeks. They live in a world class city that they have explored on foot, car, and public transit. They attend a great school that is as diverse in its teaching as it is culturally, socio-economically and ethnically. They have experienced eating foods from around the world.

The kids have family in Tulsa where they experienced mid-America to the fullest with cousins their age, doting grandparents, horses, 4-wheelers, boats, fishing, etc. and family in Canada where they experienced older cousins that treat them like a niece or nephew, swimming, hot tubs, church with Granny and Pappa, Trinidadian food and culture.

While we know our children are beautiful on the outside, it is the inside we are most concerned about. We want our kids to be beautiful on the inside. To have strong character. To make choices based upon a strong moral and ethical standard instilled in them.

They are adopted. We want them to have a strong sense of self and family belonging. They have been told: "You are a Widney and Widneys tell the truth (don't steal, work hard, don't litter, etc.) They have open adoptions with their birth families. Knowing where they came from and their people of origin is important in self-awareness. As is knowing their birth moms loved them SO much they chose us to be their parents.

We are Christians. We strive to be honest with our kids about what it means to be a Christian. That when we say all people are equal, we mean all people and not just a chosen few. When we say love your neighbor we mean their Muslim and Hindu friends, the gay couples that are like aunts and uncles to our kids, and understanding that the beggar on the street could be any one of us.

We teach our kids about sex when they are developmentally ready. First, we let them see us kissing and hugging. The best thing we can do for our children is to love each other and let the kids see that love modeled in a healthy, daily setting. We want to be our children's experts so we don't shy away from their questions and we answer them honestly and directly.

We have trained our children to be polite and respectful from the time they could wave "Bye Bye." And blow kisses. As toddlers they were taught to look someone in the eye when shaking hands. Shyness and hiding behind our legs upon meeting a stranger was not acceptable. And we used big words like "inappropriate" and "unacceptable" and "incredible" with them from babies because kids are not dumb and can process tone and manner as part of language.

Somewhere in there we strive to let our children be who they are. One is a conservative and the other is a free spirit. They have individual interests and we try to foster those interests and be supportive of them.

We set rules and boundaries and give rewards, accolades and encouragement. They are disciplined in an age appropriate manner because tapping a toddler's hand when touching the outlet works the equivalent of taking away electronics usage works from a 10-yr old. They have set activities they need to do every day to make life run smoothly for themselves and our family unit.

We spend time together. Eat dinner together. Ask about each other's day, the "Top 3," and "How could you have made someone's life better or easier today?" We go everywhere together. Scare each other whenever possible and have special memory building activities like Pizza Monday and Family Friday.

All this and yet still we know that one day, our kids will talk to their therapist about how we messed up their lives and childhoods. Sigh. Still, we trudge on in our effort to raise children of character with lots of character.

Children's Eye Dr

Mini Me and I like to make faces and do silly stuff behind the doctor's back. So much fun.!

Kit Kat Cake with Smarties

Happy 1st Day of School!!!

School started today, on a Wednesday, so I thought I should bring back our Widney Wednesday tradition with this back-to-school trait.

I have been wanting to make this cake for months! Tonight, all things combined to make it a reality. The kids were ecstatic when they saw the cake. It made it so worth it!!!

Smarties
These Smarties are like M&Ms but better. They are from my homeland, Canada. My BFF, Usher, brought a bunch back for me after his last business trip up there. (Thanks, Usher!) No BFF? Use M&Ms. 8 King-sized boxes.

Kit Kat
I used King-sized bars. The bars automatically break at the 4-piece mark which is handy. 5 King-sized bars.

Cake and Icing
Normally I make cakes from scratch. I asked J to bring home a cake mix and icing last week. (Thanks, Babe!) I don't like chocolate cake or icing so I used vanilla. But do what makes you happy.

I used two round cake pans (square would be easier), let them cool, cut the tops off to get a smooth top. I put the bottom cake on a vintage white Ikea plate (that just means I've had the plate set for 21+ years). Icing. Flip the top cake so the bottom becomes the top of the cake. Icing the top and sides.

Layer Smarties on top. I didn't do this but wish I had - put Smarties on the sides of the cake. Warning! Don't overload the top with Smarties. They will fall everywhere when you cut in to it!!!

Put Kit Kat bars on the sides. Might need a second person if you put Smarties on the sides.

Get your incredibly creative and artistically gifted husband to tie the ribbon around it all to hold it together.

Remove ribbon before cutting.

Enjoy!!!

Truth Time
As I sat down to eat my dessert while watching a documentary with J, I accidentally hit J's knee with the hand holding my cake. It went flying everywhere!!!!

1st Day of School 2013-14

Mini Me = Grade 2
Motor Mouth = Grade 5

Summer Party 2013

I promised the kids a summer party. They invited a bunch of friends and they had a blast for four hours one Saturday evening. Clearly, one group was more free-spirited than the other...

New Do

Mini Me has been asking to have her head shaved for months. J finally obliged. She LOVES it!!!

Mini Me No Training Wheels!

Mini Me learned to ride her bike without training wheels on Easter. I kinda bullied her into it.

Last year, we thought Mini Me would grasp the no training wheels concept before Motor Mouth. She almost got it then Motor Mouth fell and she chickened out. All summer.

This year, J was at work and my BFF Usher was in town. I had him take off her training wheels. But first, I told Mini Me that she is seven years old and it's time to ride without wheels. I told her I wasn't going to deal with her whining and that she was going to get on that bike and ride it without training wheels.

Here is the result after just five minutes.

http://youtu.be/pCkzvRwcLJE

One of THOSE parents

I'm becoming one of those parents that records their kid's race times and is planning for the next phase of their swim career.

Motor Mouth started swim team three years ago because the Learn to Swim instructor saw something in him and said he should be on swim team. About 30 gold, silver and bronze medals later, our boy is one of the fastest in his age group in the league. WoW!!!

Motor Mouth has worked hard and has earned every medal. He practices for 10-12 hours/week. He has a great attitude and is considerate of others on his team. He doesn't see other kids as his competition - he's there to have fun and hang out with kids his age.

I like the sport of swimming. It's not something I ever got into or know about but it's a good sport. Great cardio, low impact, life-long sport, less chance of breaking a limb than basketball or football.

We would like to see how far Motor Mouth can go with swimming. It could determine which high school he attends and it could get him a scholarship to university. It's amazing how young some of these decisions have to be made. I guarantee you that if Motor Mouth was not where he is right now - like if he was only now getting into it or he was not racing in the fastest heats at meets, he would not have a chance at future swim success. The competition from here on out only gets tougher.

We are excited to see what Motor Mouth can accomplish in the next few years. We also want him to continue to love the sport and to have a great time practicing and competing. Ultimately, of it's not fun, it's not worth it.

Fashionista

Mini Me wants to be a doctor but she just might have a career in the fashion industry. She made this outfit using her pajama pants. No cutting necessary.

Celebrating Mediocrity

Mini Me is on a swim team. Last weekend, she had a swim meet. She was awarded a sixth and seventh place ribbon.

Really? Why do we have to celebrate when kids lose? First, second, and third has been the norm. Why do we have to make kids feel like they are winners when they lost the race. By a LOT?

I played a lot of sports as a child. I knew I had to work hard to get in the top three. So when I earned my first place ribbons I knew I had truly accomplished a feat. I remember winning in high jump and then having to jump over and over to see if I could beat the city record. Almost but I didn't. But it gave me a goal to strive towards.

What does getting a sixth place ribbon tell my daughter? It tells her that she doesn't have to swim hard and fast to get a medal and that the half assed attempts she made on Saturday are good enough to get a ribbon. I saw her swimming. She was coasting. I want my kids to work hard and get rewarded for their efforts, not coddled. Let them have real goals to work towards.

Sports are supposed to teach kids about the value of hard work. Don't devalue the lesson by dumbing it down.

Cute Elf

I think Mini Me looks adorably cute here in the hat and scarf I made for her this year. And like an elf.

The Godfather 2012

A few months ago, the kids' godfather came to town on business. Our kids LOVE their Papa Martian. 

Motor Mouth and Mini Me have really grown in to delightful creatures that can carry on engaging conversations with adults.

Did I tell you how much my kids love their godfather?

It's mutual.

Cool Kids

I love my kids. They are WAY cooler than I could have ever hoped to be at any time during my youth or childhood.

Ready for school.

Playing dress up around the loft.

Freedom Now

My kids are amazing. They are great kid. 

Polite. Friendly. Engaging. Humorous. Smart.

Delightful.

These pics mean so much more to me now.

My children are safe at home with us. 

They are truly free.

Glasses - Pt. 1

Mini Me had some minor difficulty in school this year. Fortunately for her teachers, for us, and for Mini Me, the girl is eloquent. 

Basically, the teachers would write words and letters on the whiteboard and the students were required to write them down. Her teachers found that Mini Me was taking longer than most students. They were concerned as Mini Me was doing well in all other areas. 

One day, Mini Me said, "The letters on the board look like they are having a play date." I have three dear friends who are optometrists. After talking to my friend, Dr. C., she suggested I talk to Dr. V, an acquaintance of mine. 

Dr. V. saw Mini Me and did a number of tests. She specializes in little kids.  Mini Me needs glasses to look at the whiteboard. And she needs to do eye therapy to strengthen her eyes. Basically, most people have the ability to adjust from seeing far and seeing up close but Mini Me needs a little bit of help to work on this. 

Mini Me needs glasses but...not these glasses!

Tower Shadow

I love that my kids are learning to ride their bikes in the shadow of the Sears Tower!

Official Artist

Motor Mouth is officially an artist!

He drew the picture below while standing on our balcony

railing and looking at the Chicago skyline.

One of our neighbors, an artist, purchased this drawing for $20.

Our little artist.

And his first $20 as an artist.

Look Ma! No Wheels!

We have the most amazing village!

To teach the kids how to ride without training wheels, I took Motor Mouth and Mini Me out to the school parking lot next to our building. Bike Boy and Glass Girl saw us out there and brought their bikes down to ride with the kids. They are such awesome neighbors!!!

Our friend, Pride Girl, sent me a link to NYC's park district's learn to ride program that teaches kids to ride without training wheels. They take off the wheels and take off the pedals. Kids learn to balance faster. So I decided to try it.

 Within minutes, Motor Mouth was riding without training wheels!!! 

If it weren't for Glass Girl and Bike Boy, this would not be a success story. They were awesome with the kids.

 Bike Boy and Glass Girl are FRIENDS in the truest sense. They love our kids and include them in their lives. Seriously, we have the BEST neighbors. 

It takes a village!