FaceTime

I LOVE FaceTiming with my niece. She was my first Mini Me. Isn't she beautiful.....?!!!!

How to Keep Love Alive

My marriage isn't perfect but it's pretty good! We will be celebrating 15 years of marriage this summer. Been best friends for over 18 years.

Here are a few things we do to keep the love alive....

1. Hold hands in the car
We have managed to maintain this for almost 15 years. It's a way to connect that is just for us.

2. Kiss daily
We almost always kiss "Goodbye" when J drops me off at work or one of us leaves for the day and we kiss "Hello" when we see each other again in the evening. Usually just a peck. Sometimes the kids protest. But we tell them that it is far better to have a mom and dad that kids than a mom and dad that don't kiss each other.

3. Say "I love you"
We say it in the morning. We text it throughout the day. We say it randomly and we say it at night.

4. Top 3
Our family shares our Top 3 favorite things about our day at dinner. Focus on the positive!!!

5. Laugh
Joke around. Tease each other. Find the humor in life. Sometimes if you don't laugh you are going to cry. Choose laughter.

6. Play
J and I scare each other all the time. I am notorious for hiding on him. Play board games or exercise together. Have fun! Don't take yourself so serious.

7. Be real
Who you are at home is who you should be in public. You should be your authentic self wherever you go. But it's okay to burp or pass gas at home or in the car - just not in public.

8. Honesty
It's so much easier to just tell the truth. If you don't like something, say it. If you messed up, say it.

9. Support interests
Take an interest in your partner's interests. It gives you more to talk about! I read J's trade magazines or help him set up the stage. He helps me with my volunteer and marketing projects.

10. Remember who you married
Kids, bills, jobs, family can all cloud the person that is our partner. Learn to separate the wife from the mother. You married the wife. Don't let all the noise get in the way of who you fell in love with.

11. Be polite
Say "please" and "thank you" to your spouse and kids. It's not just for strangers.

12. Communication
Just talk to each other. Say what's on your mind. Ask questions. Sometimes we assume stuff about our partner's motives and intentions that just aren't really the case. Talking and getting concerns or out in the open can make life easier for you both.

13. Jealousy
Jealousy can kill a relationship. They chose YOU! Give them credit for that and quit living in fear.

14. Sex
Have lots of it and often. It's great exercise and it's what single people think married people do all the time. Let them be right!

15. Touch Feet
Each night, J and I touch feet. It's our way of connecting without words or expectations. If we fought that day it's a way of apologizing and moving on.

Supportive Wives

Me and TJ took this pic because, as we joked, we both got the "wear black & white memo." Black jackets and white button down shirts is not the only thing me and TJ have in common.

We are supportive wives.

Our husbands are amazingly talented and gifted men. They are very much in sync with each other creatively. They like excellence and work harder than anyone else to achieve it.

We are more than supportive wives. We are mothers. We are professional women. She's actually Dr. TJ as she earned her PhD. I'm the director of admissions for a private school.

Me and TJ are tasked with making our family run well in the absence of our husbands. These men of ours wake up before anyone else, hit the ground running and don't stop until everyone else has left the building and is home cuddled up with their spouse.

Tonight was the recording of the much anticipated new album by Charles Jenkins and the Fellowship Chicago Choir. My husband, Jason Widney, is Charles' creative director. Those are our husbands. Tonight was inspirational and beautiful and electrifying. It went off without a hitch. Our men and their teams made it look easy.

This week me and TJ and our kids only got to see our husbands if we went to the church where rehearsals and lighting, sound, and camera installations were in full swing all day, almost all night.

Nothing in our lives stopped this week. We still had to take our kids to swim practice, dance, violin and piano practice, to gymnastics, play dates, and to the library. Our kids still had field trips, homework and projects. They still had tears to wipe away and bedtime prayers and hugs and kisses to receive.

When our husbands are on the road, or working crazy hours, that's when we hit a pot hole and pop a tire. That's when the garage door won't stay closed. Or when an appliance quits working. For my mother-in-law, it was when the fence broke and the horses got out and she had to mend the fence in the rain and round up the horses alone.

When J pulled in to our garage, kissed me and the kids goodbye and said he would see us in the morning, I wanted to cry. Cry hard. Instead, I smiled brightly at J and in a strong, happy voice I told him I loved him and was proud of the work he does. I didn't cry until the kids' homework was done and they were sound asleep and I was alone in my bed, wanting to be held by my husband because my work day was stressful. I wanted to tell him that my work computer had crashed then email wouldn't work and the printer wouldn't recognize my code and I had big printing deadlines and lots of promises to contact people. But I didn't.

But as supportive wives we take care of it. We just let it all go. We cry in private. We put on the happy face so our men can do what they have to do with as little guilt as possible.

It's temporary. On Monday evening my J will be back. It's our family pizza night. I'll tell him how I figured out Plan B and Plan C and managed to meet my deadlines after all. We'll talk about how amazing tonight was. How excited we are for this new album to hit the airwaves. What a gifted song writer Charles is.

And I will get to cuddle with my husband. You know, I don't think TJ and I would have our lives any other way. We GET to be apart from our husbands and that, friends, helps us to appreciate our men that much more when they are around.

The smiles on our faces are genuine. Just a little bit more and our men will be home again and very supportive of us!

Pentathlon Swim Meet

This was SUCH a FUN meet! I love the concept. Swim 50 yards of all 4 strokes (freestyle, butterfly, breast stroke, backstroke) individually then swim a medley of all 4 strokes in the 5th race. 5 races that every swimmer at the meet does.

Motor Mouth won 4/5 races and came in 2nd in one race. He was the meet high scorer for his age group. My favorite part about the meet was MM giving 3/4 of his heat winning prizes to his sister and two of his friends and how he shakes hands with the kids in the lanes next to him.

The meet pool has really tall windows that look out onto a green belt. It had been snowing since about midnight and a steady snowfall continued the the whole meet. Big, fluffy snowflakes. It was beautiful!

The boy on the right is MM's good friend. I LOVE this kid. I got him hooked on reading Lemony Snickett's "A Series of Unfortunate Events" - in a British accent. It's the best way to read the books for maximum enjoyment.

Media Wives

I am currently a production widow. It means J is spending long hours & nights, working feverishly to meet a hard deadline.

This is my world. I met J at midnight when he crashed at his aunt's house when I was house/teenager sitting. We have done this for our entire marriage. Some nights, he doesn't come home.

When we were childless, I would stay with J for those long hours. I've unpacked par cans, inserted gobos, hung curtains, cut holes in 50 ft flags, held ladders, operated a Genie lift and more. I've run camera, run words, been a stage manager, served the crew food, you name it. I still remember the pain of unraveling about 200 strings of Xmas lights.

It wasn't all drudgery. I've met some of the biggest names in the industry and hung out with their kids and crew. Let's not talk about the time I picked up the talent from the hotel and took the wrong way on the turnpike when he was already running late for sound check.

I am NOT a showbiz kinda girl. I don't get off on being a roadie. What I do enjoy is helping my husband achieve his goals and deadlines. I enjoy spending time with my husband. Sometimes that means that I am keeping him company even though I'm snoring on the front row of seats. It could mean I'm bringing dinner to serve the crew. Or that I'm part of the crew.

In order to learn more about what my husband does and talks about, I started reading his trade publications. Fascinating reads! I could tell you all about the most recent Installations in Vegas or a mega church.

Since becoming a mom, mostly it means being a single parent for a few days or weeks or a month. It means I am the only one that cheers our kids on or that I only cheer one kid on and a friend cheers our other child on across town. It means that if the dishwasher is going to break, it will happen during production week. Or both kids will get sick and I'm the only one to care for them.

I hate it when new production wives call and put pressure on their husbands to go home. I want to yell: "It's for the greater good, Woman!" It seems immature and childish for a woman to call her husband home to what - sleep next to her? Unless your kit says you are ovulating and this is the window, let the man do his job.

Be supportive. Encourage your man. This is especially important when he is nearing crunch time. Don't trouble him about Johnny needing braces. Johnny will still need braces on Monday. Just let it go for a couple of days until after the crunch passes.

Try sending supportive texts or leave messages in his lunch. This was a private text I sent to my husband this morning. I'm sure he will be fine sharing it with you:

"I am so very incredibly proud of you. I know the toll this production has taken on you mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You have poured your heart and soul into this production to bring glory to God, focus people on Jesus, and to enable people to connect at whatever level they are at. I love you dearly, J."

I'm not a perfect production wife or widow. Nor am I super human. I miss my husband. I miss him in bed next to me. I miss him at the dinner table. He is my best friend so naturally, I miss sharing my day or troubles with him. Our kids miss him.

My husband doesn't just do what he does for a paycheck. He does it because he was born to do this. He does it because he makes a difference in people's lives. He enables and enhances the artists. Don't believe me? Let the artist try singing or talking on stage in the dark or without a microphone.

Yeah, I'm going to be supportive of my husband during production season. Will you?

Skipping Christmas This Year?

Christmas is less than two weeks out.

This is as far as we got with a tree this year. And that's only because it was put up by two Christmas cows from Santa's Farm at the North Pole that got tired of seeing it in its box.

We have ZERO gifts purchased. No stockings have been hung. No visits to Santa. J said we are forgoing our annual Christmas card. You know, the one that we throw together at the last minute, email to our nearest and dearest and then slap on social media. We haven't even ordered the Christmas ham.

What we do have, is a tree in J's office at work, an amazing Christmas production will be presented four times this weekend, and Motor Mouth just got six more swim medals.

I don't think we are boycotting Christmas. I think we just don't have time for it yet.

Coach E

Motor Mouth had a great swim meet this weekend. He did really well in all of his events. To top it off, his very first swim coach came to the meet today.

This is the coach that looked at my son in Learn to Swim and told me Motor Mouth was doing really well and that I should think about putting MM on the swim team. I did.

For three seasons, MM learned and grew under Coach E. MM worked hard and a friendship was formed.

It was great to hear and see Coach E cheer on MM today. It meant a lot to MM and to me.

Honor Roll Pokemon

My kid is on the Honor Role in the fifth grade at his private school. Pretty awesome feat considering he swims for two hours/day and rushes through his work just so that he can draw Pokemon characters....

Hit My Target At Target

This is proof that it IS possible to go to Target and only purchase the ONE item you went there for AND for less than $50. Impossible, right? Well, here is how to do it:

1. Bring cash.
2. Be in a rush.
3. Pick up a really cool hat for your daughter but... Wait for it... Put. It. Back.

Good luck, friends. Be strong!

Crazy Kids

Motor Mouth messing around before swim practice.

MooMoo & MeeMee 2013

They're baaaaaack!!!

MooMoo and MeeMee, our favorite Christmas Cows from Santa's farm found us at our new home. We were all happy to welcome our December house guests again.

Photo Top:
Kids found the Cows on the front steps Sunday morning - after searching the whole house. LoL!

Photo Left:
Mini Me used her t-shirt to make a bed for them on her dresser.

Photo Right:
MooMoo & MeeMee were found playing Connect 4 on Day 3.

John Legend & Rihanna

If they ever need a young John Legend as a child or a young Rihanna as a child for a video or movie, these two are it!!!

Mini Me and her BFF at the B96 Pepsi Summer Bash in Chicago this past summer. Mini John Legend's dad was the MC at the Pre-Bash.

Don't Quit Your Day Job

I LOVE my allergist. He rocks. But...

Today, my allergist gave me a new inhaler. I said I needed to video him telling me how to use it so I will be able to do it at home. He took my iPhone and videoed me. I get home and what do I find on my iPhone?

This is all he got. A still shot. No inhaler in the pic. No video. He's like, 30 and has an iPhone.

#donotquityourdayjob

Swim Season

Motor Mouth is doing great on his swim team. He has qualified for Regionals in all of his events and State in three events. It's very early in the season so most likely, MM will have to pick and choose his State events.

I love watching this kid swim in practice and at meets. He has had great coaches that have brought him to this point. His current coach is awesome. MM's technique has really improved and MM loves going to practice. Even after he complains about how hard practice was. LoL!

Family Getaway

We needed to getaway for a few days to rest, fish, hike, and rejuvenate.

It was a great few days out-of-state. The kids fished and fished and fished. I read while they fished. J took pictures while they fished.

It's been far too long since we just unplugged and took off. I'm glad we did!

Restroom Funnies

Motor Mouth looked MORTIFIED when I finally exited the ladies' room at the library.

MM: Mom, Why were you laughing so much in there? Everyone could hear you!

WW: (Fits of laughter as MM backs away slowly.) Look at this pic.

MM: Mom, why are you showing me that? Gross!

WW: See that trash can? See how close it is to the stall door? I was in there playing basketball with the stall door closed. I shot wads of toilet paper in the trash can - from inside the stall!!! (More laughter but only from me.)

MM: Geeez, Mom...!

Seriously, that kid needs to lighten up! Bathroom basketball opportunities do not come around often. Seize the moment!!!

Me and My Girl

5 years, 5 months, 12 days

We officially lived in Chicago for 5 years, 5 months, and 12 days before I trekked up to the top of the Sears Tower. We used to be able see the glass observation deck bump outs from Widney Loft. Never interested in standing in a little piece of glass that high up.

Sporty Girl, the grown up daughter of C-Mom6 came to town with her boyfriend. We met up for breakfast and ended up spending the whole day taking them around downtown. We had a great time getting to know Sporty Girl as an adult.

We were able to see our old loft, where the kids used to swim and now swim, their school, our old church, lots of familiar places. I took pics so our kids can see as well.

And yes, I DID go out on the glass ledge.

I just say want to say that I LOVE Sporty Girl and her boyfriend, Polar Bear. They are amazing people. J and I discussed that if our daughter turns out as smart, enlightened and well-adjusted as Sporty Girl we will be most happy.

Leave Me Dry

My kids took all of my cash. This is all I was left with...! Kids!!!

I Forgot Who I Am

I popped in to a fast food drive thru and lost myself by the time I drove off.

It was dinner time and I was doing my swim mom duty. I had just dropped off Kid A at one pool and made a pit stop on my way to pick up Kid B at another pool.

I finally made it to the final drive thru window. I had food in hand when the woman in the car in front of me stopped and backed up. I honked her gently as she was getting close to my car and I needed to pull off.

I looked at the clock and saw that I only had 3 minutes to get Kid B in Friday rush hour traffic.

The woman got out of her car. I nicely told the woman she can't park there as there was a long line. She walked to the window and apologized, saying she had to get something for her order.

There were TWO drive thru waiting parking spots open. She should have pulled in there. Instead, she caused 10 cars to wait on her.

I lost my mind.

I yelled at her that I have to pick up my daughter and to move her car. She ignored me. I honked my little Japanese car horn (American car horns are much more aggressive and beefy sounding). Ignored me.

The car behind me backed up. As I backed up I clearly informed her of how insensitive she was being in fluent Truck Driver.

Then I laid on my little Japanese horn as I drove around her.

I forgot who I was in the moment.

I forgot that I am an admissions director whose face is well-known because I meet hundreds of people in that area each year.

I forgot that I am the wife of a man who has been well-recognized in our city for the last five years.

I forgot that I am the wife of a director at a church.

I forgot that people often recognize me and call me by name in our city.

I forgot that I am a Christian.

I forgot who I am when I became that raving lunatic for a minute.

I am going to take full responsibility for my words and actions. I was wrong. I was out of control. I am sorry I embarrassed myself, my family, my God. It is never okay to act like a crazy person.

I hope that I remember how this feels right now the next time I am tempted to go off on someone.