I Am 42 And Earned It

I think it's great that people are always genuinely shocked at how old I really am. Typically, they think I'm in my late twenties to early thirties. I just turned 42 years old.

Personally, I love being 42. Or 41 or 40 or 37. It's all about the process. I've earned my 42 years. They were not all easy years. Some of the years I thought were hard, in hindsight, were a piece of cake - what was I thinking in my silly youth?!

Someone asked what I would say to my 20 year old self. What advice I would give her. I think I'd just give her a hug and walk away. There is nothing I could have told my 20 year old self that would have made differences and yet still brought me to where I am today.

If I had gone down any number of paths, I might not have met and married J. If I had gone down any number of paths, we might not have become parents to Motor Mouth or Mini Me. Whatever careers or volunteer positions I've done, whatever people I've met, whatever mistakes I've made, whatever kudos I've accumulated in the past were all insignificant compared to having the family I have right now. Yet all of them were necessary to enable me to be with the people I live with. My kids are my reason for being on this earth. J and I were destined to be their parents.

So, if my eye lids are a little more droopy than when I was 30 or if I have a few more gray hairs than when I was 30, if I have some lines forming around my eyes or mouth, or if my boobs are not where they were when I was 20, it was all worth it to be doing life with this husband and these kids. Wait. I think it would be nice to have the 20 year old boobs and still be doing life with my family.

When You Know Better, Do Better

We have been going through some stuff for the last few months. Some of it is stuff I just flat out did not want to happen and other stuff that was coming down the pike was stuff I just flat out did not want to happen in the future. Combined, it was a heavy weighing on my heart and thoughts.

The whole time, I felt like I was screaming inside. Like those people who have surgery and their bodies are paralyzed by their mind and senses are awake and they are trapped in their bodies, feeling the pain of the procedure. Except, I could have yelled and screamed and blogged and talked about it with everyone who would listen.

But this time around, I wanted to do it better than I have in the past. I wanted to walk through it gracefully, with peace and dignity. I wanted the process to be different than before. Ultimately, the outcome would be the same. It is how you go through it is what makes you feel good or bad about yourself afterwards. This time around, I wanted to feel good about myself. 

Sunday Wrap Up

Here is a rundown from the last month or so...

Thanksgiving
For the first time, we went to the State St Thanksgiving Day Parade. It was a blast!!!  I especially enjoyed singing and dancing to "Shake It Up, Baby" with Santa on State St - like in Ferris Beuller's Day Off! I should mention that we had VIP seating in the stands and THAT is the only way I will ever do a parade in future.

Bun Bun is Gone Gone
Our rabbit, Bun Bun, was adopted from the rabbit farm by another family. When I finally told the kids, I accidentally told them that Moo Moo was adopted from the farm by another family. They were devastated. If you recall, Moo Moo is the Christmas Cow from Santa's farm that visits us each year for the month of December. Needless to say, when I realized my mistake and clarified, the kids were totally cool with the rabbit being adopted - so long as Moo Moo still came. So, if you ever want to break bad news to a children, just tell them they lost something they love and when they realize that is not the case, the lesser news won't be so bad...

Barking Dogs
The timer for my iPhone sounds like a barking dog when it goes off.  I set my timer at work and walked away without my phone. Needless to say, there were a number of disturbed staffers and parents who heard a fierce barking dog in a school building. Bahahaha!

Total Flattery
My friend MAM is a writing professor, published author, speaker, and well all around accomplished in the field of writing. For my birthday, she gave me a book to help me start submitting my work for publication. Basically, MAM said that my writing has improved and with some tweaks here and there, she thinks I'm ready for publication. HIGH PRAISE indeed!!! If MAM thinks it, it must be true. I need to get my butt in gear and start submitting work!

New Blog
It might be time to phase out of Widney Woman into something different. There is much over the last month or two that I would have liked to have shared but can't because for as anonymous much of my blog is, it is not anonymous to those who know me and J. I get out my thoughts and feelings in writing. It is hard to do that right now which leads me to question the viability of Widney Woman. I'll keep you posted.

Toyota Frustration
I'm so frustrated with Toyota right now. We bought a brand new car so we would not have to make expensive repairs in the first 3-4 years. Not working out that way!!! Should have bought a Ford. That way, we would have expected a disappointing vehicle and to pay out the whazoo on repairs!

Okay, so that is about it. I'm sure I have more that I will wish I had said but, oh well. 

It's Your Birthday!

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago.

I took liberty this year as my birthday was on a Monday- it was a 4 day celebration starting Friday. Basically, the kids had to be nice to each other and not fight or argue from Friday to Monday. 

PRESENTS

When asked what I wanted for my birthday this year, it was simple - sleep!!! I requested to be able to sleep all day Sunday and Monday (took the day off work). It was divine! J did get me a leather Book Book case for my iPhone to match my laptop case. J took the kids to get me a birthday card and they made cards and a Happy Birthday banner.

FOOD

On Sunday, J made me breakfast in bed. Yum! While the kids were at school on Monday, J took me to Cafe Trinidad for lunch. I was born in Trinidad so it is always nice to "return to my birth place" on my birthday. After dinner that evening, we had a glorious cake from Whole Foods. Yum!!!

SURPRISE

That evening, J surprised me with a visit from one of my favorite friends, Usher! I hadn't seen Usher since he was one of my nursemaids that fateful day in August when I almost died. It was good to hang out with him and J. I wish I had known he was coming - I would have put make up on and done my hair. After all, the last time Usher saw me, I was snoring on his lap and looked like a character out of Star Trek!

In his defense, J was going to have me get showered and made up but Usher came an hour early. I'm glad he came when he did. Otherwise, Usher could have possibly heard me singing and carrying on in the shower. And there is no telling what I would have gone running into the living room wearing - or not wearing - while being obnoxious as one can be with only your spouse awake. It would have made for a funny story after I recovered from the shame of embarrassment. Maybe.

All in all, it was a wonderful birthday!

Knowing Me Knowing You - November '11

knowing me, knowing you - November 2011

It's time once again for that monthly interview project, Knowing Me, Knowing You!!

1. What keeps you up late at night?This summer I was up a lot thinking about work. I had several goals that were rather lofty. I ended up slam dunking the work goals.

2. Do you collect anything?Tea pots. NOT tea cups. NOT mugs. Tea pots.

3. Are you addicted to Angry Birds?No. I have only played it once.

4. What's your idea of a perfect evening?Honey, these days, if I can stay awake when I sit down for a minute, it's all gravy from there.

5. Are you looking forward to winter?I live in Chicago. No.

Now, head on over to the Fairy Blogmother and show her some love!

Art Meets Life

This painting is at the Art Institute in Chicago.

I have loved it for over three years as it reminds me 

of how my mother looked when she was younger.

This week, my mother visited us in Chicago.

It was a delight to show my mom this painting in person.

O Questions

I am flipping through the November issue of "O Magazine" and came across these questions that Joel McHale ("The Soup" and "Community") answered. I should mention I actually find him...sexy. I can't always explain my taste in men. At any rate, here are my answers to some fun questions.

Best Bowl of Soup
Baked potato soup at Charlestons Restaurant in Tulsa. It is perfection in a bowl.

Best Vacation
Hmmm...Tough one. Vegas and Colorado rank right up there but the winner goes to....

Flying in a helicopter cross country to Pensacola (to visit family) then Disney World (where I saw Cirque du Soleil, all the Disney theme parks, and met Mickey!!!) and driving to Daytona Beach before going to a lighthouse and then on to Cape Canaveral where I saw space shuttles and stayed at a fabulous resort.

The helicopter ride enabled me to see so many sites: forest fires, hunting posts, homes on stilts near the Gulf, Disney from the air, sunken ships, dolphins and sharks, homes of all shapes and sizes, perfectly manicured yards and hoarder yards, the Mississippi River, and the beauty of the American countryside to name a few. The biggest take away from the helicopter ride came after seeing the carnage of Hurricane Katrina - having seen where these people lived and to think it was all gone.

Best Gift
This laptop. Or my iPhone. Can't decide. Both are liberating and life-changing.

Best Pick-Me-Up
My kids telling me they love me.

Best Advice
"Ask not what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country." John F. Kennedy. Changed the course of my life at age 11. I believe we should give more to our community than we take out of it. That means volunteering of yourself. Of your time. Giving money to others is nice but giving of yourself is more personal. It is more rewarding. I get to work in a field that I am solely qualified for because of my volunteer experiences.

Best Movie Genre
Action.

Best Way to Spend a Sunday
Beach with the kids, brunch, hang out on Michigan Ave or Millennium Park then home for a nap before J makes dinner, for our family to eat on the patio before having a tickle fight and doing the kids bedtime routine. Afterwards enjoying a glass of wine with my husband.

Best Excuse
"I almost died on the CT table" was the reason I gave for not going back to the office after my test in August.

Whatever It Takes

I'm a mom. I have two children. To get time alone, I sit on the porcelain throne and read my mail. Or flip through my iPod. Or flip through a book or magazine. When they come in to tattle tale, I ask them if I disturb them when they are in the bathroom.

What do you do to get personal time?

Fulfillment

For the first time since I was a computer consultant in my twenties, I absolutely love my job and love what I am doing. There were times between when I thought I loved my job and got satisfaction out of it. Those times pale in comparison to now. 

I do admissions and marketing for a private school. This is a stretch because I studied computers, not marketing. To think, I cried the entire drive in to interview for this job. Well, technically, it started as marketing and events but morphed into admissions and marketing. This has been one of the hardest jobs I've ever done. I've felt more fear and insecurity doing what I do. 

But I also feel successful at what I do. The year before I got there, enrollment was about 96 in K through 8th. When I got there, enrollment was about 106 students in PK to 8th. The next year it was 145. This year, we are at 189. This is a recession and we charge tuition. Private schools are closing all over the city. We are blessed.

There is a challenge to my job that is heightened because we are located in the heart of the downtown core. Marketing is a unique beast because of our location. It's not like we have a 50 acre front lawn we can park a school bus on with a sign that says "Now Enrolling" and call it a day. Interestingly enough, we don't have a school bus. One of the reasons we don't have school buses is because of the cost we would incur to re-paint them several times a year after they are tagged in our parking lot. Not an expense many schools in the burbs have to factor in. LoL!

Want to know what actually works...? Posting fliers with tearaways in local coffee shops, restaurants, and dry cleaners. Want to know what had a crazy great affect? We put 2 ft tall letters with our school name.org in windows at the front of our building (on a busy city street). It put us on the map in the neighborhood. Our best marketing tool of all time though is word of mouth. 

We used to have parent volunteers give potential parents tours. That job has fallen on my shoulders. I LOVE it!!! I get to meet everyone and tell them how unique our school is. We believe that having one or two knowledgeable people doing the tours has helped to provide a consistent message and to give prospective parents the information they need to make an informed decision.

I look forward to going to work every day!

Truthful Tuesday - No Truth About It

The thing about my life right now is that I can't really talk about my life right now. Sigh deeply.

I started to write a blog entry then realized I can't talk about that stuff right now. Then I started to write another blog entry and realized I can't talk about that either.

Seriously frustrating as I often use my blog as a means of thinking things out and expressing my thoughts and feelings. Hmmm.... If you are interested, email me and I may be able to tell you personally.

Bye Bye Bun Bun

I had to take Bun Bun back to the farmhouse a week ago. 

It has been 9 days. I think about her all the time. I miss my Bun Bun.

When J was traveling all summer and the kids were gone, it was me and my rabbit.

I fell deeply, madly in love with her almost at first sight.

The trouble started in the car ride home. J's eyes were watery and swelling and itchy. His throat was itchy too. But we figured it was because we had been in a farmhouse full of rabbits. One little rabbit won't cause that reaction.

Wrong. We should have turned around at the next exit and taken Bun Bun back. My heart would not have broken then. My kids would not have bonded to this sweet creature. 

Instead, we forged on. We fell in love. We learned for sure that J has a rabbit allergy. Who knew?

If J did not work from home when he is town, that would be one thing. If J did not already have this crazy eye affliction that primarily Native American males get, that would be another thing. If J did not do video work that requires him to have his eyes in peak working condition, that would be yet another thing. 

Yes, J could have taken allergy meds. But I'm not going to plug my husband full of drugs so we can keep a pet. Besides, J is my money maker. I need him happy. 

Here are some pics of me and Bun Bun together.

Eating out of my hand

Taking a break under the zebra chair

Coming back for more

Licking my hand

Deciding which bookcase shelf she can fit in

Knowing Me, Knowing You - Oct '11

It's time once again for the monthly interview project... knowing me, knowing you....

1. Are you watching Revenge?
No. I'd like to watch it but I watch enough right now. Well, technically, I DVR enough right now.

2. Do you decorate for Halloween?J started to about 2 years ago so this is the third Halloween we decorate for. J does spider webs and spiders. This year, the kids will be painting pumpkins. We typically have scarecrows.

3. Do you have any crafty plans for Christmas presents?No. I simply do not have the time, unfortunately.

4.What's your dream vacation?Going away on an airplane to somewhere warm with lots of boutique stores with unique handmade items and being able to sleep or read all day and night. Alone. No kids.

5. Which of your relatives live closest to your house.My brother lives 5 minutes closer than my parents. My parents and siblings all live 8 hours away in Canada. They are our closest relatives. Then comes Tulsa people at 11 hours and the Pensacola side at 13 hours.


Head on over to the Fairy Blogmother to see what others have posted and because she really is all that AND a bag of chips.

Knowing Me, Knowing You - Sep '11

It is beyond time for Knowing Me, Knowing You - September 2011. I have nothing to say for myself other than school started back and I'm a single mom these days so I don't get to do all that I would like to do.

1. What's on your bedside table?Lamp. Kleenex. Couple books I'm never going to read.

2. What is your favourite kind of cookie?Hendricken chocolate chip cookies. My best friend growing up's mom always made the BEST chocolate chip cookies. She says it is just the package they follow but I think they must put an extra ingredient of perfection in there.

3. How long does it take you to get ready?Depends. We talking Day One: Shampoo AND condition day or Day Two: Spray bottle of Infusium and mousse day or Day Three: Just conditioner day?

4. What would you like to be doing right now?Attempting to procreate.
Oh, who am I kidding? I just want the part after that, where you fall into a deep, restful sleep.

5. Is your kitchen sink empty?Ummm, yes and no. One side is full. The other is not. Clean dishes from dishwasher need to be put away. Watcha doing tonight?

Now, please head on over to the Fairy Blogmother from whence all "Knowing Me, Knowing You" posts cometh from. 

Day at the Park

The weather has been so incredibly perfect. 

Today, J took the kids to a park while I met up with my 

friends MAM and LRD for a writing date. 

Wacky Wednesday - Eye Progression

Do you remember reading about how I almost died (literally) on the CT scan table when I had a BAD reaction to the contrast dye used via IV?

Well, here is the progression of my eyes during recovery.

Day 1

Swollen face.

Broken blood vessels all over my entire face.

Broken blood vessels in my eyes.

Day 2

Looks worse.

My kids came back home after 2.5 months in Oklahoma. I felt so bad, thinking THIS is what my kids have to see of their mother after 2.5 months away!!! But then I reminded myself that they at least HAVE a mother. I almost died. Nurse called to check up on me and said the medical team wasn't sure I would make it.

Day 3

My eyes hurt. They are sore.

Not wearing contact lenses.

Day 4

Concealer was my best friend that covered

up the broken blood vessels on my face.

Day 5
Getting Better

Day 8

No more broken blood vessels on my face!

Day 9.

A little over a week and starting to feel normal again.

Still not wearing contact lenses.

TWO FULL WEEKS LATER...

My eyebrows looked great throughout it all!

You Have a WHAT?

When the kids were in Oklahoma, their grandparents got the kids horses!

Motor Mouth and his cousin share a horse 

named J.R. after the two of their names. 

Mini Me and her two cousins share a horse

named P.E.T. after their threw names.

We got a bunny rabbit named Bun Bun.

It's our city horse. LOL!

And she ate Mini Me's homework!!!

First Day of School - 2011

School started about a month ago. 

J was in town to take first day of school photos. 

J took the kids under the El tracks just down from the school 

for an impromptu photo session.

He dropped the kids off at school. Then he was off to the airport.

This was the first day Mini Me was a student at Motor Mouth's school. 

She absolutely loves it!

Can't Sleep Because of the Bad Words

Parent Fail Tonight.

In my defense, I was at a new knitting and crochet circle I co-founded.

But J. Widney was home with my children...

J. Widney was excited to watch "Bridesmaids" on DVD tonight. He put the kids to bed like a responsible parent. And like a responsible parent, he checked to see if Mini Me was still awake. We live in a loft so the wall between the living room and Mini Me's bedroom does not go to the ceiling. That means she can hear EVERYTHING in the living room, dining room, our bedroom, and the kitchen.

"Mini Me?" "Mini Me?"

No response.

Bridesmaids deleted scene at the ice skating rink:

"F**k. F**k. G*****n. S***. F**k. F**k. G*****n. S***."
Repeat for 2 minutes. Literally, 2 minutes.

"Daddy, I can't sleep with all of those bad words!"

So Daddy moves Mini Me to Motor Mouth's bedroom (It has brick walls to the ceiling.

Motor Mouth: "Dad, I can't sleep. Mini Me keeps saying bad words!"

Wordless Wednesday - Rabbit Ate My Homework!

For real.

I Was Sued

Yeah, I was. I was pretty shocked. Especially because this person accused me of assault. Really. Me.

I had to lawyer up. The attorney suggested we pay this person something to go away. I then informed him that I did not hit this person. He didn't ask before that. He was funny - he said everyone should experience being sued at least once in their lifetime. Really? I could have lived my life without the added stress of this nonsense. There should be some burden of proof or level of proof required before someone can sue another person.

In court, my accuser proved that this was a frivolous law suit, brought by a mentally unstable person. I didn't have to say anything, really. At one point, the judge said to the plaintiff: "You have been talking for over fifteen minutes and I still don't know why we are here." I took that to be a good sign for my defense. Oh, did I mention the plaintiff told the judge there wasn't a single attorney in all of Illinois that would take the case...?

The judge found in favor of the defense - that's me. After it was all said and done, the judge had the plaintiff escorted to the elevator with a bailiff. Then she called my witness and I over and thanked us for our patience in dealing with the plaintiff and for the patience we exhibited in court.

If only I could give you details of the level of insanity on display that day. Email me personally if you want some details...