Desi Book Club - #1

I wanted to join the new Oak Park chapter of the Desi Book Club but just didn't have the time to read the book. But then I hung out with MAM at her place and it was book club time so I got to join in - even though I had not read "The Palace of Illusions" by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni.

At the start of the meeting, everyone went around and introduced themselves. Of the nine women, there were 2 medical doctors, 2 psychologists, 2 PhDs, a receptionist, and me (admissions and marketing director). Clearly, I was in good company should I collapse or go crazy.


In addition to being incredibly smart and accomplished, these ladies had beautiful, melodic names: 
Dipika, Shakuntala, Gauri, Surinder, and Bashanti.

I could have stayed and listened to the stories about their lives and careers and volunteer work all evening but we were there to discuss "The Palace of Illusions." It sounds like a fascinating book told from a unique perspective - that of Panchaali, married to 5 royal husbands who were cheated out of their father's kingdom. The story takes us back to a time that is half history, half myth, and wholly magical, giving new voice to the epic Mahabharata. Epics are often told from the voice or viewpoint of men. Divakaruni's book is interesting because it is from the female viewpoint.

Now I have the book and the time so I plan to read this fascinating story and see for myself what these women were raving about.

Lofty Goals

This summer, I have very lofty goals. The children are gone for 8 weeks again. I would like to spend that time writing, reading, being more intentional about creative inspiration and enjoying my husband - not necessarily in that order.

Reading

I’ve joined a Desi Book Club. I’m part Indian on my father’s side so I qualify. We meet monthly. The books selections are by Desi authors. I’ll be blogging about my first Desi meeting soon.

I want to learn more about the Hindu faith. My dear friend, MAM, is South Asian and has frequent socials that have enabled me to meet many people who are Hindu. And, interestingly enough, I meet many Hindu families who want to send their children to the private Christian school where I am the admissions and marketing director. It makes sense for me to know more about this faith.

And I am just simply interested in Kaballah and Buddhism. My plan is to read a Kaballah book I was given and to attend some of their meetings. I would like to read about Buddhism. If time permits, I'd like to visit a Hindu temple and a mosque this summer.

Writing

It is time to add the next installment to the short story I began last summer. I have been mulling over the ending and how I think it should play out. It’s called, “ – wait. I can’t tell you the title. I hope to get it published one day but I will have to do so under a different name because it is scandalous! Hahaha!!!

It is also time to do some editing on an adoption short story that needs to be extended to book format. I’ve been mulling over what changes need to be made and I think I have the writing chops now to do it greater justice.

I also want to blog more.  Blogging brings out my creative juices.

Creativity

I want to take more photos of the things that inspirte me. I could spend days taking photos of all kinds of stuff at MAM’s home.  She inspires me. I also want to take photos of things in the city that inspire me. I got the idea from a webinar for creatives. I need to keep my creative juices flowing to do marketing effectively in my job.

Love J

I also plan to spend lots of time hanging out with my husband. This solo time is such a gift for us. No plans on turning on the TV this summer!

What are your summer plans/goals?

A Fine Line

I work at my kids' school. As a staff member, there are things that I am not privy to because I am also a parent. I strive to differentiate between parent and staff. Sometimes, it can be a fine line. It may also be hard for others to know where that line is. It is important for me and my colleagues to be attentive to the line. When I explain the "Scenario" you will understand why.

Parent/Staff Distinction - Example 1
I am the admissions and marketing director. In my capacity, I should have access to the financial aid (FA) documents to ensure they have been received in a timely manner and work with the financial aid committee to determine acceptance of FA requests. However, as a parent, I should not know who is receiving FA and certainly not how much. To maintain parent confidentiality and retain impartiality a non-parent on staff handles this.

Parent/Staff Distinction - Example 2
We have a great staff and faculty that I love dearly but they are are not my Facebook friends. Our school policy (and my personal policy) is to refrain from social media contact with students and alumni under 18 years of age and it is advised to refrain from social media contact with parents. I am not even FB friends with my principal whom I consider a friend.

School Environment
Our school teachers, classrooms, staff are very open and accessible within the school environment. If kindergarteners are working on a project to find and name purple items, they freely walk in and out of any classroom or office they need to. It sounds chaotic but there are controls and checks and balances in place - i.e. kids walk around in pairs, closed doors are off limits, etc. Our school is a safe environment for students to gather knowledge.

The Scenario
I returned to my desk to find a note from a student. The note said that my son had yelled in her face in after school care and could she please discuss it with me that day. I was livid! If I were any other parent, that student would not have been permitted to walk across town to my office and leave me a note. I put the note aside and went about my busy schedule (6 tours, 3 meetings, and lots of projects due).

At my first opportunity, I asked my principal if I was wrong to think the school should deal with it first. She agreed with me. I said I would reach out to the teacher.

Bad Timing
To compound matters, my son's class was out of school from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm on a Learning Excursion to our state capital. Under normal circumstances, I would have been able to ask the girl's teacher to pull my son out of class and work on conflict resolution. Under normal circumstances, I would have asked my son about it when we got home. As it was, we got home at 7:50 pm and he was in bed by 8:00 pm.

Work It Out
It is a private Christian school that adheres to biblical principles when dealing with conflict resolution. This means the offended party goes to the offending party and tries to work it out. Our teachers are amazing at helping our students voice their feelings and concerns and allowing an opportunity for forgiveness and grace. If the situation cannot be resolved student to student with teacher direction, the teacher initiates next steps. Throughout, students are learning valuable life skills.

The Dad
The girl's father approached me the next morning at my desk. He wanted me as a parent to know what had happened and for us to resolve the situation. Dad said my son had apologized at the time but that his daughter did not think the apology sincere and that she was distraught over the situation all long weekend and much of the school week.

I explained Parent/Staff Distinction, Bad Timing, and Work It Out. Told dad my son needed an opportunity to rectify the situation without parent involvement and that I would discuss it with my son afterwards. Dad hugged me and left.

Rock and Hard Place
This dad and I have worked on committees together and he is an active, involved parent. The 10% that you can always count on to step up to volunteer. If I screwed up in this parent situation, I could cost my employer a great volunteer and a tuition paying student.

Teacher
The teacher read my email and came to me. She apologized for not reading the girl's note first. Had she read it, she would not have allowed her to come to me. It was just a rare oversight on the teachers' part. Teacher said she would get the two students to talk it through. And she did. And it was resolved student to student. You see now why I love my kids' teachers and this school?

The Whole Story
The kids were playing dodge ball. Motor Mouth explained to Girlie that she was out. While that was going down, Motor Mouth yelled something to the effect of, "Aw man! Holy crap!" because a dodge ball almost hit him. Girlie thought he was yelling this to her and up close in her face.