Supportive Wives

Me and TJ took this pic because, as we joked, we both got the "wear black & white memo." Black jackets and white button down shirts is not the only thing me and TJ have in common.

We are supportive wives.

Our husbands are amazingly talented and gifted men. They are very much in sync with each other creatively. They like excellence and work harder than anyone else to achieve it.

We are more than supportive wives. We are mothers. We are professional women. She's actually Dr. TJ as she earned her PhD. I'm the director of admissions for a private school.

Me and TJ are tasked with making our family run well in the absence of our husbands. These men of ours wake up before anyone else, hit the ground running and don't stop until everyone else has left the building and is home cuddled up with their spouse.

Tonight was the recording of the much anticipated new album by Charles Jenkins and the Fellowship Chicago Choir. My husband, Jason Widney, is Charles' creative director. Those are our husbands. Tonight was inspirational and beautiful and electrifying. It went off without a hitch. Our men and their teams made it look easy.

This week me and TJ and our kids only got to see our husbands if we went to the church where rehearsals and lighting, sound, and camera installations were in full swing all day, almost all night.

Nothing in our lives stopped this week. We still had to take our kids to swim practice, dance, violin and piano practice, to gymnastics, play dates, and to the library. Our kids still had field trips, homework and projects. They still had tears to wipe away and bedtime prayers and hugs and kisses to receive.

When our husbands are on the road, or working crazy hours, that's when we hit a pot hole and pop a tire. That's when the garage door won't stay closed. Or when an appliance quits working. For my mother-in-law, it was when the fence broke and the horses got out and she had to mend the fence in the rain and round up the horses alone.

When J pulled in to our garage, kissed me and the kids goodbye and said he would see us in the morning, I wanted to cry. Cry hard. Instead, I smiled brightly at J and in a strong, happy voice I told him I loved him and was proud of the work he does. I didn't cry until the kids' homework was done and they were sound asleep and I was alone in my bed, wanting to be held by my husband because my work day was stressful. I wanted to tell him that my work computer had crashed then email wouldn't work and the printer wouldn't recognize my code and I had big printing deadlines and lots of promises to contact people. But I didn't.

But as supportive wives we take care of it. We just let it all go. We cry in private. We put on the happy face so our men can do what they have to do with as little guilt as possible.

It's temporary. On Monday evening my J will be back. It's our family pizza night. I'll tell him how I figured out Plan B and Plan C and managed to meet my deadlines after all. We'll talk about how amazing tonight was. How excited we are for this new album to hit the airwaves. What a gifted song writer Charles is.

And I will get to cuddle with my husband. You know, I don't think TJ and I would have our lives any other way. We GET to be apart from our husbands and that, friends, helps us to appreciate our men that much more when they are around.

The smiles on our faces are genuine. Just a little bit more and our men will be home again and very supportive of us!