We have been going through some stuff for the last few months. Some of it is stuff I just flat out did not want to happen and other stuff that was coming down the pike was stuff I just flat out did not want to happen in the future. Combined, it was a heavy weighing on my heart and thoughts.
The whole time, I felt like I was screaming inside. Like those people who have surgery and their bodies are paralyzed by their mind and senses are awake and they are trapped in their bodies, feeling the pain of the procedure. Except, I could have yelled and screamed and blogged and talked about it with everyone who would listen.
But this time around, I wanted to do it better than I have in the past. I wanted to walk through it gracefully, with peace and dignity. I wanted the process to be different than before. Ultimately, the outcome would be the same. It is how you go through it is what makes you feel good or bad about yourself afterwards. This time around, I wanted to feel good about myself.
The whole time, I felt like I was screaming inside. Like those people who have surgery and their bodies are paralyzed by their mind and senses are awake and they are trapped in their bodies, feeling the pain of the procedure. Except, I could have yelled and screamed and blogged and talked about it with everyone who would listen.
But this time around, I wanted to do it better than I have in the past. I wanted to walk through it gracefully, with peace and dignity. I wanted the process to be different than before. Ultimately, the outcome would be the same. It is how you go through it is what makes you feel good or bad about yourself afterwards. This time around, I wanted to feel good about myself.
I think this is an often overlooked mark of maturity and growth, but we forget precisely because the growth means we learn do deal with things more smoothly. I like that incentive: "I wanted to feel good about myself."
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