"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me!" So not true when the words come from someone you love.
Yesterday, when I told the kids to get dressed so we could go out and meet their father. Motor Mouth said he didn't want me to go. He just wanted Mini Me, Daddy and him to go because - and I quote - "Daddy takes us to do fun stuff and you don't."
Really? Really. Why didn't he just torture me with paper cuts before stabbing me through the heart?!
I guess the beach the other morning was not fun. Neither was the car wash with 'all the pretty colors' that they love and ask for. Or dinner on Michigan Ave then the Hancock Observatory. Or what about the beach any of the last 5 times in 2 weeks? Or play dates with JuJu twice in one week? What about me taking them to the park spontaneously Friday morning? I would take them out more, but Motor Mouth has a sun allergy!!!
Not having as much free time with the kids as I used to, when I was a stay @home mom, does weigh heavily on me. We used to tear this town up!! That's probably why it hurts so much to hear him say that to me. Now, I work almost full-time hours at Motor Mouth's school, you know, so we can afford to send him there!!! I work from home another 10 hours a week or so for my client. I do volunteer work for Mini Me's school so I can be more connected to Mini Me and her education.
Is what I'm doing to help support my family so wrong? My God, it's not like I keep popping out a bunch of kids I can't afford and sitting on my fat ass at home, barely taking care of them, living off government aid and not doing my part to provide the basics and a good life for them.
Maybe in about 20 years when the kids grow up and have children of their own, they will begin to comprehend and appreciate the sacrifices we made so they could have good lives. Maybe.
Did you tell him he hurt your feelings? I've read that empathy is a learned skill, and I know kids are not always quick to learn! : )
ReplyDeleteI try to point out this kind of thing (with a cool head, when possible) as a way of showing them how much their words do hurt. It makes us a little more vulnerable, but it is worth it if our kids can learn to choose their words more carefully.
Jesse is 9 and the saddest experience I had with him recently was when he didn't laugh at a joke I made. He just looked at me as if to say, that really wasn't funny, Mom. Ouch!
Did you tell him he hurt your feelings? I've read that empathy is a learned skill, and I know kids are not always quick to learn! : )
ReplyDeleteI try to point out this kind of thing (with a cool head, when possible) as a way of showing them how much their words do hurt. It makes us a little more vulnerable, but it is worth it if our kids can learn to choose their words more carefully.
Jesse is 9 and the saddest experience I had with him recently was when he didn't laugh at a joke I made. He just looked at me as if to say, that really wasn't funny, Mom. Ouch!
I think what he's probably really telling you is that your the parent who keeps things in order more, who may do the fun stuff, but does more of the just plain "stuff". I get that from my son sometimes, too, even though, as in your case, it's totally not true.
ReplyDeleteDon't guilt out on the choices you've made to keep your family strong and well-educated. Kids are just impulsive sometimes.
You're one of my heroes as a parent, fwiw.