J and I watched Super Nanny for the first time in forever. Because of Super Nanny, we are going to start putting Mini Me on the Naughty Chair every time she cries. Something HAS to work with Mini Me. The crying all the time is not getting any better.
This week, my MIL was considering taking Mini Me for her Spring Break and asked what makes Mini Me cry. Mini Me cries...
- if she is hurt
- is tired
- is hungry
- has to leave
- has to stop doing something
- has been told 'no'
- thinks she is in trouble
- is in trouble
- if it is time to wake up
- if it is time to go to bed
- if it is time to go potty
- if Motor Mouth says 'Me 1st!' when it's time to pray or shower
- if she wants her hair straight/up/down/anything other than what you did
- if you ask her to get dressed
- if you ask her to put on her coat
- if you ask her to carry her backpack
- if you eat a restaurant other than McDonalds
- if she doesn't hear me say 'goodbye Mini Me' when I leave the car
- if she can't eat a sugar glazed donut in the car
- if she gets injured (but this one is justifiable)
- I know I'm missing at least 10 more scenarios...
For the last few months, I have taken to asking Mini Me if someone has hit her or if she is in pain when she starts crying. I tell her if someone has not hit or she is in pain, to stop crying. And I tell her I can't understand what she is saying when she cries and to please stop crying and use her words. It pretty much works.
In March, Mini Me will be 4. From birth, this child has been crying. Well, maybe 1-2 weeks after birth there was that honeymoon period. But as a baby, it was one thing after another: thrush, reflux, ear infections, formula/tummy problems, etc.
If Mini Me's pacifier fell out, she screamed and wailed. She had no lips so that thing fell out all the time. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't drive 5 minutes to church without the pacifier falling out and her screaming the whole rest of the way there. One night, I was so exhausted, I begged God to show me what to do because I had to sleep and couldn't deal with this. 'Medical tape' popped into my head. Yes, I taped her pacifier to her face with medical tape so it wouldn't hurt when it came off or leave marks. I always made sure there was enough room so she could spit up if need be. And I told her pediatrician and the children's pastors and adoption agency director so they knew what was going on.
If you didn't get her food that second, you had hell to pay, my friend. I put her on a schedule to get her food to her 15 minutes before she needed it.
My mother-in-law was not happy with us because we wouldn't let her have Mini Me overnight for about the first 3-4 months. Motor Mouth had been spending the night with his grandparents from 4 days old. Then I let her have Mini Me overnight. DonnaMomma never said a bad thing about Mini Me when asked how the night went. My sister-in-law was not so tactful and told me that Mini Me was a different kind of baby. For this reason alone, I could have love my sister-in-law for life - someone validated what I had been experiencing and trying to save others from. We didn't want J's parents to not love Mini Me as much as they loved Motor Mouth and we were terrified they would figure this out as soon as they got her overnight.
Mini Me cried herself to sleep every night. She wouldn't let you hold her or rock her to sleep as a baby. By the time she was a year old, I gave my baby rocking chair away. It had been my prized possession when Motor Mouth was a baby. I know I rocked him around the world and back again.
I kept thinking that when she gets over this sickness she will stop the crying. When she gets old enough to talk she will stop crying. If this or that or this or that she will stop the crying. It has been 4 years and I am exhausted. Her crying is the one thing that can set me off in 2 seconds.
We have started putting her on the naughty chair every time she cries. I pray to God it works. I need some relief from the crying.
I really like Super Nanny's discipline ideas. Basically it comes down to consistency. Kind of exhausting at first, but with BIG payoff.
ReplyDeleteAt first I giggled...reading your list of things she will cry over...but then I got the picture. You have had your hands full. I have been so lucky to not have ever faced anything like that. A baby crying can affect you (on so many levels) after about 10.2 seconds...let alone 4 fairly constant years! Hopefully she will grow out of it soon. Mom needs a break!!
ReplyDeleteHugs and love.
Yeah it seems funny, for a minute. Maya is very much like that. Oh the crying. I hate it. She cried forever this morning because Abby accidentally bumped into her. She cries when she gets a drop of juice on her pants. Because Abby "yelled" at the cat. Because she wants Abby's pen even though they are identical pens. Because Mike asked her to hurry up. Because Abby sat in the back seat. Because it's too windy. And so on. I figured I was going to have to start doing something. I don't want to be getting daily phone calls from the teacher when she starts jk. Let me know how it's going for you.
ReplyDeleteI will pray the chair works!
ReplyDeleteShan, the ONLY time Mini Me does NOT cry is at school!! But literally, before we walk off the school property, she is crying. It doesn't matter if J picks her up or I do. It doesn't matter if we call the after school care people first to help transition her to pick up. The crying starts and always for a different reason.
ReplyDeleteWe are glad she can hold it together for school. But it would be nice if she could hold it together at home too, so she survives until the next morning for school.