Letter to Our Roomie

Our friend moved in for 4 days while between homes.

Here is a letter I wrote him the night he arrived.

Hi Roomie!!!

Welcome to Widney Loft!

If you promise to make yourself at home, we will promise to keep our clothes on when walking in common areas.

Sorry about the pink sheets, Dude. Washer is broken. Please enjoy the mints on your pillows in lieu of ironed pillowcases/sheets. There are 4 pillows on the bed. 2 are flat and firmer. 2 are soft and fluffy.  Like mine and J’s tummies - before and after.

If you need an iron, the ironing board is in between the big and small hall closets. The iron is in the big closet with the coats, at the top in a bin, marked – get this: Iron. Feel free to take it all and leave it setup in your room. You can also throw clothes in dryer on ‘dewrinkle setting’ with a Bounce dryer sheet. I should go make sure none of my undergarments are in there. Wouldn’t want to traumatize a boy.

Motor Mouth’s closet door fell off yesterday and J has not been home long enough for me to tell him about it and get it fixed. But that just gives you a better view of the shirt and pant hangers you are welcome to use.

There is a welcome ‘basket’ in your bathroom. Feel free to help yourself to what you need. The glass shelves are there for you to put your toiletries on. The kids know not to touch that stuff. There is a shower caddy just for you as well. If you need extra toilet paper or a make up mirror or something else, check under the sink. Might be there. If not, I have extras of stuff. Just ask.

Help yourself to whatever food you find. Waffles in the freezer. Syrup in the pantry on the lowest shelf. Don’t eat the salad in the crisper. That stuff went bad. And you wonder why we are fat? No eat-y the salad-y.

There is a key on this letter. Try it in the entry door downstairs. I hope it works. The guy screwed up 2 of the other keys he made for us.

Sometimes brick dust falls on Motor Mouth’s head at night. Think of it as fairies sprinkling fairy dust on your dreams. Instead of sugar plums dancing, think tuck pointing.

The TV in your room does not have cable. Use the black DVD player on top of the TV. Mini Me broke the TV/DVD part. You want? I sell her for cheap. Motor Mouth has 2 DVD cases on his shelf. They might be of interest.  Feel free to use the cleared off space on the shelving unit. I wouldn’t use the alarm clock… It’s set to turn on/off with the light switch. Do you see the problem that would cause in the morning?

Enjoy the U2 concert if I don’t see you!